Alien Invasion Series: Book One: The Caller | Teen Ink

Alien Invasion Series: Book One: The Caller

July 23, 2011
By Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
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Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments

The author's comments:
Hope it's suspenseful!

It was midnight when I got the call. . .
“Your a goner boy”
It was morning when they showed up. . .
“Your coming with us”
It was Monday when I escaped. . .
“Get the boy!”
Now, I’m on the run. . .
“Were do you think hes going?”
I’m an alien, and I’ll prove it to you. . .

The author's comments:
I explained a lot about the main character in this chapter.

“Max! Why don’t you come up to the board, since you were definitely were paying attention!” Ms. Bloat said, her voice thick with sarcasm.
I got up and walked across the room and to the white board.
Your probably thinking how I could solve a problem like this one: 5(12 divided by 895)78+34(65 divided by 87).
Simply by using my brain. Now you might be thinking, yeah, I already know that! But how could I figure it out when haven’t been paying attention on how to solve this infuriating math problem?
I use my inhumanly brain power. The answer to cover this: pray that your some kind of nerd freak and you have a big brain, or my solution, you have to be an alien.
“30.63134913” I answered.
I loved it. Their shocked expressions. The teachers mouth was hanging open as well as the students in her class. I’m still shocked by myself that some times even I freeze up!
“What is Ms. Bloat? I got the answer correct didn’t I?” I asked smugly.
“Um. . . yes, yes you did Max, good job!” Ms. Bloat said staring at me, still shocked as I went to my seat in the back of the room.
The whispers started up like, “How did he do that?” “WOW! Hes amazing!” “He must study everyday!” “Nah, hes probably taking something”
Your wondering who the last comment came from. And the only answer could be. . .
“Billy Jones to the principles office!” rang the speaker phone of a woman's voice at the other end.
A fat, ugly, boy got up and walked over to the class rooms door and opened it up. taking one glance back with his ugly mud brown eyes looking around as if to find someone challenging him, he found no one. He yanked open the door and headed to the office.
Billy Jones, a selfish, mean, idiotic, bully. Someone who doesn’t regard anyone but himself.
Hes also my Nemesis.
You, could never find me in that category of selfish, mean, idiotic, or a bully.
I am, kind, respectful, but I can be to competitive, sometimes even a little stuck up, but! I still regard others and myself as well.
I look more like my mother. Or, that’s what my foster mother says. I have dark brown hair, I have tan skin, and the only thing I got from my dad was his eyes. They were black and gray. They usually frighten people. Sometimes they even frighten me when I look in the mirror.

If you think that I’m saying I’m ugly, that’s the last thing I would be saying. A lot of people find me attractive. Most of them girls. Though I don’t really pay attention. I just like hanging out with my friends.

But the one guy I like hanging out the most with is Daniel, Dan for short. Hes my best bud. He has dark hair like mine, but it’s is usually all ruffled with curls. He has brown eyes and light skin.

Though we really don’t look much alike except for the hair color, we have tons in common.

I love sports. Usually any type except for volleyball. Really, I think that’s a girls sport.

Though I’m the best at soccer, and so is Dan.

We both like the same food, pizza.

We both like the same girl, Jennifer Wilfery. She has tan skin, beautiful blue eyes, and long gold and brown wavy and curly hair. Sometimes we like stopping at here nice ranch on the way to school, and see if she notice us. Usually she doesn’t, but one time she said hi. I know I said I’m not really into this stuff but, it still doesn’t mean I don’t have a crush.

Though shes way out of Dan's and my league. . .

OK, story times over!

The author's comments:
Suspenseful!!!

Where is the darn snooze button! I screamed in my head as I tried helplessly to shut the alarm device up.

RING! RING! RING!

“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” I yelled at it.

It wouldn’t stop ringing.

RING! RING! RING!

OK, I thought. That’s it! I reached for the device and clamped my hands on it squeezing with all my might. CRACK!

“Oops!” I said, as I let the devices pieces rain from my hands where I broke it in half.

You just witnessed an alien at work.

My foster mother then walked in. . . uh oh.

“Max! How did this happen?” asked the tall, light brown haired women.

“I ah, accidentally knocked it down” I said meekly.

“Max!” cried my foster mother.

“Don’t worry Jillian! It was my alarm anyway!” I tried to calm her.

“Yeah! which I payed for with the money that came out of my pay check!” Jillian cried again.

“I’ll get a new one” I said.

“Yeah, with your money!” Jillian said and strutted off into the hallway.

I lay-ed back on my bed and sighed really hard. I then I got up placed my hand on the broken alarm and suddenly the pieces of the device fit perfectly back together.

I knock came from my small square white window that was on the right side of my room.

I opened the blinds. Dan was on the fire escape steps of our apartment knocking on the window.

“Dan! What are you doing that for! You could have just come up to my apartment!” I said to him.

“My mom doesn’t know I’m here. She thinks that I’m cleaning my room. You know how Jillian always makes me call my mom to make sure that she knows I’m over” Dan said.

“Sorry, forgot about that!” I replied.

“Now let’s go have some weekend fun!” I said as I pulled on as usual a black button down, half courtier shirt with black pants.

We headed toward school, a brown and red building with big printed bold letters that red:

Lincoln High School

“Let’s sneak through the back door” I called to Dan who was talking puppy dog talk to a white fluffy poodle that was scurrying around him in circles.

“Dan! Back door!” I called louder to Dan.

“OK! OK!” Dan reluctantly came over to hunch besides me.
“Let’s do this!” I said pumped up for the prank.
Let me guess, your probably wondering why were at school when we could be anywhere but here. I’ll tell you. every once a month we prank the school. Last year, we were in the science lab and we were suppose to put sticky pudy on all Mrs. Rains utensils to make it seem like they were stuck. But, Dan and I got distracted and we accidentally mixed two harmful chemicals together causing an explosion. Let me tell, only what was left of Mrs. Rains office was the silly pudy! The only people who knew about the “little incident” was our moms, the science teacher, and the principle.
This, Dan and me were determined to get it right this time. So, were starting with something simple. Like toilet papering Ms. Bloats math room.

If she ever finds out it was us, she’ll be sorry that she made me answer that math problem! But it’s not like it was difficult.
Dan, was the only person who knew my secret, that I’m an alien. So, it was pretty easy getting in.
I grabbed hold of the lock firmly and thought, Open. I heard a click, we were in.

The author's comments:
UH OH

I opened the back door to the school and crept through the long dark hallway. It was eerie and to quiet for a hallway. But I would never back down from a prank.
I went up to the room one-forty, Ms. Bloats room. I opened the door and stepped in the classroom.
It was dark. Almost too dark. I could hardly even see my shadow.
“Come in Dan! Before the janitor sees us!” I whispered to him and motioned to the door.
I flipped on the lights and put my hands over my eyes trying to adjust to the beaming light of Ms. Bloats room.
I stumbled into the room and set my back-pack on my desk in the far right corner. I opened it up and took out twelve rolls of toilet paper and set them on the counter.
“Let’s do this!” I exclaimed taking two roles of toilet paper and walking to the left side of the classroom.
“I’ll take this side you take the right” I told Dan.
“Alright” Dan answered grabbing two roles and standing on the right side of the room.
I did a solute to him and started flinging toilet paper everywhere.
“This rocks man!” Dan cried as he flung a piece of toilet paper into the rectangular shaped lights.
I think Dan said it to loud, because it seemed like the janitor heard the commotion and decided to “visit” Ms. Bloats math room.
When I heard the keys go in and out of the classrooms door lock, I knew we were in trouble.
“Dude. We gotta run!” I exclaimed to Dan flinging toilet paper as fast as I could, then grabbing the rest of the roles and flinging them everywhere like a mad man.
I grabbed my back-pack and then grabbed Dans sweaty hand and pulled him to the classrooms only window.

“What are you going to do? Break the window?” Dan said in panic.

“Yes, I’m going to break the window” I said grabbing a stapler from Ms. Bloats desk and hurtling it with all my inhumanly strength at the window.

“Are you crazy!” Dan yelled as the window shattered into a million tiny pieces of glass.

“Maybe a little” I commented back trying to cover up the problem with a joke. It didn’t help what so ever. Because as soon as I said those words, the janitor came in.

The author's comments:
TROUBLE

“Go! Go! Go!” screamed at Dan pushing him with my clammy hands.

The janitor froze for a second. Giving us the advantage.

We hurled are selves out the window and sprinted all the way home not looking back once until we were sweating like a dog on a hot summer day.

“That, was so close” Dan huffed out.

“That, Was so awesome!” I copied him.

He grinned at me mischievously.

“OK, how will we get inside your apartment?” asked Dan.

“Honestly, I have no Idea. I’m just trying to catch my breath” I said putting my hands on my knees and breathing in and out of my mouth.

“Hmmmm” was all Dan could reply.

“You know. . .” Dan began. “You could just fly us up to your bedroom window” Dan said grinning evilly.

“You got it” I said grabbing Dan from under his arms and lifting him off the ground.

“I didn’t mean now!” cried Dan apparently afraid of heights.

“It’s now or never Dan” I said to him after we reached safety from inside of my room.

Dan was still breathing like he was going to have a heart-attack any moment now.

I patted him on the back. “You OK?” I asked chuckling. It looked like Dan was about to barf.

“Dude. If your going to barf. Please do it out the window” I said now laughing.

“Dude! Stop laughing! You could’ve dropped me!” Dan cried.

I shook my head. “Yeah right! I wouldn’t drop you! And if I had not known better, I say your afraid of heights” I said smirking a little bit.

“Stop smirking! And I, of all people, I am not afraid of heights” He scoffed.

“Yeah sure” I said waving him away.

Another problem exploded. . . Jillian came in. . . to see me and Dan. . . dressed in black. . . like robbers. . . one word. . . TROUBLE. . .

The author's comments:
"play"

“Well, you have some explaining to do. Speak” Jillian bellowed and pointed a hot pink finger nail at me.

“Um, well we. . . are. . . getting ready to go to a rehearsal for a play. . . that Ms. Stut is putting on!” I gathered a lie.

“Really? What is this play about?” Jillian put air cotes around play.

“Robbers” Dan blurted out looking tearful as Jillian zeroed in on him with her hawk like eyes.

“Really? When is it taking place?” she asked again.

“Friday” I spoke before Dan could burst out in tears selling us out.

Then Jillian spoke the words I was dreading. . .

“Well I can’t wait to look forward seeing this play. I’ll even bring my camera!” Jillian cried and she knew that I knew she caught us. . . or so she thought.

“No!” I cried out.

“No?!” she directed her glare over to me.

“Um, yes, . . . no! You can’t go because it’s at the school and only the students will see the play” I stretched the lie out even more.

“Well then, you two have fun” Jillian said defeated.

I grinned wickedly when she turned her back and left the room.

We had won. . . for now.

The author's comments:
YAY!!! JACK POT!!!

Eric McCain, was stern,and stricked, and he never EVER, let things go unchecked. Eric McCain, was a very careful man. Especial when he was at work.
Eric McCain, was the head of security for the whole city of Dallas, Oregon.
Since the average population of Dallas was only 14,590, his job was pretty smooth sailing.
But today, it was different. Something caught his eye from the schools security camera. There was only one school in the whole Dallas county. But nothing ever went wrong accept that horrible incident when two boys about fifteen blew-up a science room. Ever since then there were video cameras all over the school.
He zoomed in and focused on the spot where he saw the movement and then zoomed out. He stared eyes wide. Right there was a shadow of a boy throwing a rock at the plate-glass window. He unpaused the screen. It hit the glass like a bullet causing a lot of commotion. He saw the door ripped open by a fat greasy man that was waring a blue jumper suit.

The janitor he presumed.
The janitor started yelling and cussing. Telling the boys to “get down”. That made the two culprits sprint even faster to the east were Alison's Apartments lay.
He needed to find the suspects. He needed to find them.

After the heart accelerating questioning with Jillian, Dan and I started to head back to school.
Then, we were stopped, by a man dressed in suit and tie that was black. On his suit that stood out proudly and looked cleaned everyday, was a badge. A security badge to be exact. He was a federal agent.
I stood motionless, bones frozen into place like someone left me in a freezer for too long.
Dan, like always when bad things or people,showed up, was at a lost of words.
“Hello boys” said the Detective, looking us both in the eye.
I finally recovered and tried to be bold for Dan.
“Why are you hear” I said actually looking at Detective Eric McCain, which said who he was on the shiny badge.
Eric looked suspiciously between the two. “I’m here because I saw two kids run off after they pranked Lincoln High School” Detective Eric said.
I froze up again. How does he know about the prank?
I gasped.
Detective Eric turned to me.
“Sorry just thought the school was safe? How could anyone prank it and get away?” I covered myself.
“The school is safe there’s video cameras everywhere. Not to mention that there are locks on every door of the school. In fact they lock automatically after school is out. The only ones who could open and close the doors are the janitors” the detective went over the information like he knew it by heart.
“Maybe it was a lock malfunction” I suggested.
“Not possible,the locks were made so that no one could change the locks timer except for me. And plus, no high schooler, could be smart enough” Detective Eric added.
“Well, it looked like they out smarted you this time Detective Eric McCain” I smirked seeing that he hated the thought.
He looked down on me, the smirk on my face vanished.
“Not yet, they haven’t out smarted me yet” he said, mostly replying to himself.
Eric looked at the two boys again, he was going to have to keep an eye on these two, he thought.
He tipped his hat and stalked away to the front door of the apartments.

I went to my lock to get my things for my first class, Dan right next to me opening his locker.
“Ah! I can’t get my locker open!” I said furiously lifting the latch up and down.
“That’s it!” I shrieked grabbing hold of the lock.
Dan seemed to know what I was going to do because all of a sudden he shrieked: “No! Max! Remember, video cameras!” Dan said pointing up to the corner which held a small mini camera.
I took a deep breath, “Too close” I breathed out.
“Come on man, lets go” Dan said grabbing my arm and yanking me toward Ms. Bloats math room.
For the second time we stepped into the math room, but this time know intention of harm was going to be done to the room. It already had been harmed by us already.
All around the room was toilet paper. Since we were to concentrated on throwing toilet paper, we didn’t know where we threw them.
Pieces and strings of toilet paper were in the lights, over the students desks as well as the teachers. All over the floor. And there was Ms. Bloat over in the corner whispering something to Mrs. Rain.
Since I was the sneaky alien type, I was going to make sure that I heard what they were going to say.
I zeroed in with my inhumanly hearing ability on their conversation. This, is what I heard. . .
“Who do you think did this!” Ms. Bloat said in a hushed whisper.
“I have a clue, maybe, it was Max Night and Dan Goldberg. I mean they did a prank to me last year, they blew up my whole science room!” Mrs. Rain cried in a whispering voice.
“They said they wouldn’t do any pranks! And I still have know idea how the person got in! This place is surrounded by video cameras. Not to mention the full-proof locks!” Ms. Bloat included.
“But still! Max and Dan still are suspects” Mrs. Rain insisted.
“If you say so. Mrs. Rain, I should inform you that a security FBI agent came in today and is at the office this very moment. He tracked the suspects to Alison's Apartments” Ms. Bloat concluded.
“Does he knew who the suspects are?” Mrs. Rain asked eagerly.
I leaned in on edge.
“No” Ms. Bloat replied quietly.
Mrs. Rain’s head lowered.
I slipped out of their conversation.
I felt a slap to the cheek. I whirled around to face Dan who was staring at me worried.
“What did you do that for!” I yelled, loud enough for Ms. Bloat and Mrs. Rain to hear.
“Sorry, you were in a faze” Dan whispered.
Turned back around to face Ms. Rain so close she was in my inhumanly large, space-bubble.
“May I help you?” I asked meekly.
“I’m watching you” she said staring daggers at me and then stalked out of the toilet paper filled room.
“Hi Ms. Bloat! I like what you did with the place! I love how it’s stringed everywhere” I said about to burst in a laughing fit when I saw here steamed face.
“You won’t be laughing soon Mr. Night!” Ms. Bloat growled and followed Mrs. Rain out of the room.
“Dude! Do you want them to find out!” Dan cried.
“They won’t find out!” I said waving him away.
“Well, if they do their going to start asking questions on how you got in there. They’ll find out that your an alien!” shrieked Dan.
I slammed my hand over Dan’s mouth. He froze from the reaction.
“Dude! Video cameras!” I hissed.

Dan looked like he was going to burst out crying.
“We can’t do this any more Max. Their going to find out! And then their going to find out your secret!” Dan warned me grabbing his books and sat down in his seat in the front while I sat in the back.
This was going to be a long day.

It was about fifteen minutes afterwards when students and Ms. Bloat entered the classroom. And they were shocked. Though ms. Bloat still had that freaky over cooked carrot look.
She glared at me before taking position up at the front of the room.
“As you can see, our room, was pranked, by to people. They have yet to be identified” Ms. Bloat continued.
I did I-told-you-we-were-going-to-be-found-out-about look at Dan. That look, was too soon.
“But, I assure you we will find the culprits! This case will not go unsolved!” Ms. Bloat concluded.
Dan looked back at me and gave me a I-told-you-so look. I sunk into my seat.
I guess you really can’t keep a secret forever.

Detective Eric McCain was now showing the principle the tape of the to suspects toilet papering Ms. Bloats math room.
“Why make a bug deal about this? It’s just a small prank!” Principle Manners question the detective.

“because, somehow, which should be impossible for a teenagers. They found how to get into the school without breaking the locks” Detective Eric said.
“That’s impossible! These locks were meant to stay locked” principle Manners stated.
“Exactly! So first, after I show you this video. I will check for finger prints” Detective Eric explained.
“Then analyze it and see who the culprit is. Or, if I find out who did this prank from the video, I wont have to do the finger prints” Detective Eric concluded.
He unpaused the video and zoomed in on the two suspects ready to smash the window. He focused on them and cleared the screen.
“Bingo” he said.
The pieces came together.
He heard a small gasp from principle Manners.
The two boys he saw coming from Alison’s Apartments, they were the culprits.
He mentally smacked himself. Of course! They were waring all black like they were going to rob a bank! He was so focused on the mission he forgot to embrace his surroundings!
“Do you know these two boys?” Eric asked the principle who was staring at the screen in shock.
“Yes, that could only be young Max Night and Dan Goldberg's” Principle Manners said, still flabbergasted.
“Thank you Principle Manners. Now if you may, can you call them down to the office"

“Max Night! And Dan Goldberg’s! Please come down to the office!” a voice on speaker phone rang out for all the class to hear.
I got up shaky. Oh no. . .
Dan glared at me.
Ms. Bloat had a smug look on her face.
the class was staring at me.
I was in trouble. . .
I walked out of the room. Trying to feel confidants that I shouldn't feel.
It felt like the hallway was so short and quick, but it really was so long.
I stopped at the office, Dan at my side. But not as my wing-man, but a person who probably hates my guts.
“Listen Dan I’m-” I didn’t finish.
“Boys, come in” said the Secretary, Ms. Jones.
I walked in first followed by Dan, waiting for or punishment. And I don’t think it will be three weeks of detention.
“Hello boys” I gasped when the man turned around, Detective Eric McCain.
He smiled at me coldly.
“You have been busy boys haven’t you. Very smart as well I presume” He continued. I stood ridge with fear.
“I have recently discovered that you were the two boys who also blew up Mrs. Rains science room. And now, your back, breaking and entering the school the second, and toilet papering Ms. Bloats math room” He said slowly.
He stopped pacing and turned to face us both.
“OK, I’m going to stop torturing you now and get straight to the questions” Detective Eric said.
“Why, did you want to toilet paper Ms. Bloats room?” he asked.
Dan answered, “We kind-of have this sort of pranking thing, we always pranking the school every month” Dan continued. “We liked doing at first. . . but now I’m not so sure sir” Dan said looking down at his feet.
“I see. Max, any comment?” Detective Eric asked looking me in the eye, even though I was looking down at my feet.
“No” I spoke quietly.
“Good. Next question! Why did you pick Ms. Bloat to prank? Do you have anything against her?” Detective Eric pushed.
“No! Of course not!” Dan said quickly and Eric swiveled to face Dan with a glare. “Well, Ms. Bloat did make Max do a really hard math question. He wasn’t paying attention so she called on him” Dan replied.
“Hmmm, did you get the question right?” the detective asked again.
Dan answered for me, “Yeah”.
It was my turn to glare. I gave Dan a what-that-heck-are-you-telling-him-that-for! glare.
He just turned his head away in resistance.
The detective looked trouble, but then got back to business.
“Last question. How in the world were you able to get in?” Detective Eric leaned in closer.
Dan didn’t speak up this time.
“Um. . .” I started.
“Yes Max” Eric said.
“We snuck into the janitors room and change the timers after school was out. Then the next day we pranked the school” I lied.
“I see” was all the detective could say. It almost sounded like he was disappointed.
“You should know that you are in a load of trouble” Eric continued. “You are free to leave for the day, your suspended for the day” Eric finished.
I walked passed Dan saying nothing just walked all the way down the hallway. It seemed like it was longer this time. And it felt like someone was watching my every step. I was going to have to be careful.

The author's comments:
ALIEN ABDUCTION!!!

Eric McCain was not satisfied. There was more to this little “prank” then what met the eye. He tended to find out.
Just like he knew that there was more to that Max kid. He could see it. Max was hiding a big secret, and soon or later it was going to be revealed.
He took out the video tape from two days ago, which was when “supposedly” Max and Dan switched the timers.
he ran through the type. He didn’t see anyone switching the timers. He looked three more times to make sure he was seeing everything. Nothing.
He took yesterdays tape out and rewinded it until he got to the spot where they were breaking in.
He saw Max grab and try to turn the locked door. Still locked. He whispered something to Dan and then grabbed the lock again. He closed his eyes and turned the lock. . . it opened.
Eric shot up out of seat and replayed it. He sat there dazed.
How could that be possible? Just closing your eyes and turning the lock and it opened. Impossible!
This most be some kind of prank. He thought over the information again.
Could it be possible? Is that teenage boy, a extraterrestrial?

I got up knowing that Dan was probably not going to be waiting at the door patiently for me to get ready.
It really had been my fault. I wasn’t careful, and now were going to both pay.
I slumped all the way downstairs and passed Jillian who gave me a hug good bye but I could hardly feel it. I just kept on walking towards the door.
I yanked it open. I saw what I wanted to see the most. Dan. He stood there grinning at me stupidly like nothing had ever gone wrong, like we never pulled that stupid prank. I loved this guy!
“Dan? What the heck are you here for!” I asked shocked.
“Well I was going to apologize, but I guess you don’t want me here” He said turning around.
“Stop. Of course I want you here! I wouldn’t I want you here! Come here Dan!” I said pulling him into a noogie.
“AHHH!” He said grinning like a big lunatic.
“And your not the one who should be apologizing, I am. I got us into a lot of trouble. And I’m sorry” I said head down.
“Hey! It’s over! Let’s forget about it! I don’t like the mushy moments” Dan said still had that stupid grin on his face.

I tried to smack him and the goofy grin off his face.

“What the heck are you doing that for?!” Dan cried as we started walking to school.

“Stop grinning dude! It’s freaking me out!” I said trying to smack him again.

His grin got bigger.

“Ugh!” I cried.

I stopped and stood on a hill a ways away from the school.

The school, it had big hulking men in black suits posted at every door. And in the front leading them, was are only, Detective Eric McCain.

We had two options on why there were guards everywhere.

1. They got a better security system

2. They know I’m an alien

“This does not look good” Dan said.

I’m going with number two.

“Oh come on Dan! It’s not that bad” I said.
He gave one of those looks, are-you-serious!
I heaved out a breath and walked toward the school.
“OK, I guess to gt in we’ll just have to use the cloak of invisibility. In this case, me” I instructed.
“Grab my hand” I told Dan, he did so.
A few seconds later, we were invisible and sneaking into the schools door.
I passed right through it and was in the school. I turned off the invisibility, once I was in a dark corner of the school.
I peeked from behind the corner. The hallway was empty.
I walked around from the corner followed by Dan.
“Freeze” a cold hard voice commanded.
I froze right in mid-walk.
“Turn around and come here. Don’t try anything because there are guards posted at every window” the voice said with authority.
Dan turned around first and gasped. I whirled around to confront the man. . . Detective Eric McCain.
“I knew you were going to sneak in. I just didn’t know how” Eric McCain continued.
“I know what you are boy. But I don’t know, about you” pointing a finger at Dan.
“Human sir” Dan said looking down at his feet.
My anger flared. Not at the detective, he was doing his job. I was mad at myself. I should have stopped with the pranks but I went too far.
“Ahh!’ I cried thrusting my hand out and turning Dan invisible.
“GO!” I yelled frantically.

It took a few minutes for the detective to process what was happening. Did that boy just turn his friend invisible. He has proof! That boy really is an alien!

“Get him!” He screamed at the guards who were just waiting for a command. They leaped into action.

I rolled over onto the floor a dart whizzed by my ear.

Good, they’re not trying to kill. Just put me to sleep, I thought as I caught a glimpse of another sleeping dart zooming passed my head.

I got up. This better work! I hissed in my head.

I raised my hands above my head and thought. . . force field.

A blinding purple light came from my hands destroying everything in its path.

I grinned. I could now use all of my power.

The detective could only gape at me.

I took of sprinting, faster then a truck on a highway, over and up the hills. I had know idea were I was going, but I knew one thing, Dan was heading this direction as well. We were fine, for now.

It turned out, that I was heading for the one and only Meijer in town.
Great Dan! Bring chaos to the people are ya! I thought still in a hurry to get to safety within the Meijer.
I ran into Meijer, making the automatic doors, swing on their hinges.
I saw Dan, hiding underneath a wooden table that carried pies. He motioned for me to hid with him. I shook my head. We needed to escape, and we needed to escape now.
Right then, Detective Eric McCain and his security team bursted into the Meijer, spotting me.
“Get the boy!” he yelled at the top of his lungs pointing to me.
I scrambled up from my kneeling position and ran toward the shelves that held Meijer products. I grappled for a hold on one of the shelves and heaved myself up onto the shelves.
“What the heck is he doing!” screamed Detective Eric.
I hopped across the shelves one by one until I was at the end of the rows of shelves.
Everyone was on edge, waiting for my next move.
I turned and smiled at Detective Eric McCain.
“Bye!” I said. I pushed off and flipped grabbing onto the fresh produce sign that was pointing right.
I swung back and forth.
“What are you just standing there for! Get him!” Eric screeched.
They ran toward the sign where I was swinging frantically.
I let go and soared toward the pet supply area, and landed straight on my feet.
The team of security guards scurried over to the direction they saw me soar to.
I ran full speed ahead and saw Dan two rows down in the baby section of Meijer. He waved and I waved back.
Time for the big exit.
Right above me that stretched pass Dan, was a huge glass window that let sunlight leak into for the plants that were now in my face whipping me side to side.
Dan skited towards me.
“Read for this?” I asked him grinning.
“Yep” was all he could reply in a nervous manner.
I lifted him off the ground and flew full speed ahead into the plate glass window. It shattered, into a billion pieces. It rained down on all the security guards.Making them run for cover like scared little girls.
I laughed. It was funny! Highly trained security guards running for cover, tails tucked into their butts.
I set Dan down and collapsed onto the pavement.

“Max! Come on! We have to get up!” Dan urged me.

I was too tired. I waved him away, and mumbled, “Let them get me”

“Max! We can’t let them get you because then they will either dissect you, kill you, lock you up, or use you as a weapon! Now come on!” cried Dan as he heaved my body up.

I got up grabbed him again. He shrugged off my hands.

“No. Your too tired. Were going to have to hijack one of these cars” Dan said. “Which one”

I grinned and pointed.

“No. . . No! No! No! No! No!” Dan exclaimed.

“Yes. . . Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!” I mocked him as I still pointed to the red convertible.

I ran over to it and Dan followed.

“Hop in!” I said to Dan, already in the car.

I grabbed the steering wheel and the engine started automatically.

“Cool” Dan stared in awe at me.

I grinned at him. “Wicked cool”

We drove on a hardly used road that led all the way back to Alison’s Apartments.
“Max” Dan started.
“Yes Dan?” I asked.
“How will we explain this?” he said motioning to the convertible.
“We don’t have to” I stated.
“Are you going to turn it invisible?” Dan asked eagerly.
“No. That would take to much energy” I answered.
Dan sunk low into the passenger seat.
“I’m just going to drop it off a few ways back from the apartments” I told Dan.
“Oh” was all he was going to reply.

We drove in silence until we stopped a couple blocks down from Alison’s Apartments.

I parked the car on the curb getting out as well as Dan. He almost looked sorry to leave it.

“Come on Dan. Let’s go” I called to him softly.

We started to walk the three blocks to Alison’s Apartments together. Were going to need each other.

It was almost midnight, and I was still up. I couldn’t get to sleep. I was restless.

I tossed and turned like a boat on the ocean on a really windy day.

I tried everything, counting sheep, closing my eyes, staring at one spot until I became to tired, taking one of those sleeping pills. At this point, I wish I was shot by one of those security guards with a sleeping dart.

Then, the bell rang. It was midnight when the call came. . .

Ring! Ring! Ring!

First I thought it was my alarm so I took the device and threw it at the wall smashing it to bits.

Ring! Ring! Ring!

“What!’ I muttered. I looked at the device, still broken.

I then realized it was the alarm, but the phone.

Now who would be calling this late at night? I wondered.

I got up and walked down the long dark hallway that led too the dinning room, and to the phone that lay on the white marble counter.

I grabbed it and pressed talk.

“Hello?” I answered the phone.

“Your a goner boy” a deep thick voice spoke eerily from the phone.

I knew who it was. . . it was only, and could be, Detective Eric McCain.

“What do you mean I’m a goner?!” I asked on edge.

“I know where you live, I know where you are, and tomorrow, I’m going to come get. If you try to run, I’ll shoot you” He hung up.

I thought about the phone call and it sent a shiver up my spine. That was the first time I got a phone call from, the caller.

I stood by the counter with the phone in my hand for about three minutes.

Are they watching my every move? Are they watching the house this very second? I wondered on the were of getting myself paranoid.

I unfroze, and began stiffly walking too my room.

I lied on my bed for the rest of the night. Not able to sleep. By morning I was sleep deprived.

That’s when they came. . .

Ding-Dong! Was the sudden noise of the door-bell ringing.

I ran my hand nervously threw my hair and walked down the hallway and turned to the door.

I peeked through the windows shades.

Two big hulking men stood in front. Waring black suit and ties, with guns by their sides.

One was completely bald. While the other had black and gray speckled hair.

Right in front of them was Detective Eric McCain.

I opened the door, unaware that my hair was ruffled and I was waring the same close I wore yesterday, but now wrinkled.

Eric smiled at me coldly. “Hello Max” He said arm and yanking me too the two men who grabbed my shoulders.

They yanked my arms behind my back and put two connected white cuffs on my hand. They lit up yellow,green,blue, and red, when they put them on me and locked them.

“What are these?” I asked trying to lift them over my head, but receiving a small shock when doing so, coursing through my body.

“These, are called power cuffs. They lock your powers inside of of the cuffs when you try to use them. But when your not they just contain them inside you. But, as you have experienced, they do give you a small shock when you try to use your powers” Detective Eric smiled at this. He started walking to the black cars that were lined up perfectly. Three cars for three men.
He shoved me in the passenger seat, in the first car.
“Shouldn’t I be buckled?” I asked smirking.
He turned back to me and gave me a glare.
He grabbed the buckle and buckled me in. Tight.
I was regretting saying that already.
“Better?” He said now smirking at my discomfort.
I didn’t answer, I just nodded.
It took about three hours. I guessed since they put a black bag over my head. Where ever we were going, it was top secret.
I heard the sudden screech of tires and I knew we had stopped. He yanked the bag off my head.
The landscape of the place, was mountainous, and rugged. By the landscape I knew where we were. We were in,
“Colorado? why are we in Colorado?” I asked suddenly.
I’ll I got was a shocked expression from Detective Eric.
A half bald man in a white lab coat, came from a grassy trail and welcomed the Detective and the crew.
He peeked behind Detective Eric. I stared at him straight in his gray eyes. He flinched and turned back to Eric.
I turned around doing a 360 of the area.
Detective Eric and the man in the white lab coat watched, as I sucked in the areas landscape.
“He knows where we are just by looking at the landscape! How is that possible!” Eric said in a hushed whisper, that I could hear to the man in the lab coat.
“I have know idea. Do you know any of his powers?” the lab coat man asked, looking at me.
“Yes, there-” Eric began but I interrupted.
“You know if you just wanted too know my powers you could just ask me” I told them looking at them both.
“Super hearing” the lab coat man wrote down and said out loud.
I smirked. “Anyone could have heard that! I bet even those guys could’ve heard that!” I said pointing to the guards who looked up in question.
I turned back around.
“OK, tell me. What are some of your powers?” asked the detective finally.
I smiled. But they couldn’t see because I was facing the other way.
“Nah, I don’t want to tell you” I said smirking.
Eric looked ticked. “Then why did you tell me that I could just ask you, and you would tell me!” Eric threw his arms up.
my eyes turned cold, and the lab coat man flinched and took a step back. I thought even Eric flinched.
I smiled a cold smile just like Eric does and said,
“Your going to make my life miserable, I’m going to make your life unsuccessful” I said, still smiling coldly, then turned around again.
Eric just stared at my back.
“Tough one isn’t he” the lab coat man said to Detective Eric.
“Yeah, he sure is” Eric replied.
That put a smile on my face.

I was lead to their base that was called E.E.B. It standed for Extraterrestrial Experimentation Base.

It was in the side of the mountain. You couldn’t really see the base until you went all threw the booby trapped forest, and the large piece of land that was covered in mines.

Of course, we deactivated all of it.

When we got to E.E.B. you could see a huge room in the side of the mountain, and it had a huge plate glass window covering it.

It was pretty cool.

I gawked at it and froze, until the guards made me move. They pushed me toward a metal door, that had a blinking red light on it. There was a pin-pad where you would type the password. next to it was a card swipe.

The bald man went up to the door and swiped a gold and black card. The door lifted open.

“OK wise guy! Cell phone!” Eric held out a hand.

I looked at it and said, “I don’t have one”

“Oh really?” the detective replied. “All kids have cell phones. Cough it up!”

“I guess not all of them, because I, don’t have a cell phone!” I shot back.

“Check him” Eric ordered to the gray haired man.

He checked all my pocks, but came up with nothing.

He shrugged at Eric and returned over to the right.

Detective Eric looked suspiciously at me.

“Come on!” He finally said and pushed me toward the door.

The door led into a long dimly lit corridor made of metal. It was like a bridge, but not quite.

Once we got across the corridor, there was another door similar to the one outside, though it had black stripes running through it.

The bald man swiped his card, and I was shoved in yet another hallway.

This continued on three more times until we reached the room I saw coming to the base.

Up close the plate glass window was huge.

The room was very large and had a variety of different colored couches.

A blue couch stood to the left which I took and lifted my feet up and let them rest there.

“OK, first question. Why are you here? On earth? How did you get here?” Eric asked.

“Whoa! that was three questions! One at a time!” I exclaimed.

“OK, Why are you here?” he began slowly.

“I stole a spaceship with some other aliens” I replied.

“Write that down and everything else as well” Eric tapped the clip board, that the white lab coat man had in his hands.

“Next question, where are the other aliens?” Eric asked.

“I have know idea. We all teleported to a different part of the world. One could be in Russia, while the other could be in Canada” I told him.

“I see” was all he could reply.

“Next! Why did you steal a spaceship?” he asked another question.

“I came here, to protect the earth” I replied simply.

“From what?” Eric pushed.

“From aliens who want to take over your planet. And those aliens, are also my people” I said leaning in chuckling to myself all of a sudden.

I then got serious and looked the detective in the eye, “They would ground you into dust”

Dan looked everywhere for Max. Not a Alison’s Apartments. Not at the pizza place they always go to. Not at school.
There was only one more place left to look. That would be at Jennifer Wilfery’s house.
I walked all the way passed Alison’s Apartments, and to the SpringVally neighborhood, until I came to a cute white ranch that had red shingles and a brown roof.
The landscape was very nice as well. A apple tree lay out in front, as well as some raspberry bushes that Dan and Max liked to hid in, spying on Jennifer.

He looked in the bushes. No Max. He looked in the apple tree. Not there.

A cough interrupted Dans search for Max.

“Um, Dan? Can I help you?” someone asked from behind.

Dan looked up nervous and self-conscious.

“Um, hi Jennifer” I replied staring at the pretty white billowing blouse and jeans that she was waring. She looked like a super model.

“Hi. Were you looking for something?” she asked tugging at a piece of hair golden-brown hair.

“Um, yeah. I was looking for Max” I replied.

“Oh, yeah! Um, I saw big black SUV’s drive toward Alison’s Apartments. I saw Max being cuffed by these strange glowing cuffs and shoved into a car” Jennifer looked worried.

Dan stared at her.

“Dan?” Jennifer began slowly asking.

I recovered from shock. “yes?” I answered.

“Is Max going to be OK? Please tell me that hes going to be OK. I don’t really know, but I do know he doesn’t deserve being shoved into a car unfreely” Jennifer said.

“I don’t know what your talking about Jennifer” I said taking a step back and turning to leave.

“then tell me what your talking about! make me understand!” Jennifer called to me pleading.

“You can’t understand. In fact you can’t even know about this!” Dan cried to her.

“Please, Please Dan. Just tell me. What happened to Max?” Jennifer pleaded.

“Would you believe me if I told you that Max was an alien?”

Jennifer stared at me and then shouted, “Are you crazy!”

“Maybe a little bit. But I knew that you wouldn’t believe me” I said slowly turning away and retreating.

“Do you always give up that easily?” Jennifer asked suddenly.

Dan turned around again. “what do you mean?!” Dan narrowed his eyes.

“Do you always give up on things when they get difficult? Your giving up right now! You could try to make me believe that Max is an alien. But your just walking away” Jennifer pointed out.

“I don’t have any proof!” I said exasperated, throwing my arms up over my head.

“You don’t have any videos? Or any tapes that shows Max being an alien?” Jennifer asked.

“Well. . .” I started to think. Then bingo!

“Yeah! We do actually have on tape. Come on! I’ll show you!” I said grabbing her hand, as an evil grin crept over my face.

This was going to be crazy!

We got to the security building in about ten minutes, creeping into the gloomy looking building.

“In here” I ushered Jennifer into the empty security room.

Hundreds of TV monitors filled the room. In the corner of the room was a bunch of boxes marked old and new tapes, In the corner of the room. Dan began searching in there, while Jennifer looked around in the cupoards above a marble counter top.

He looked through the whole box of old tapes and then moved onto the new. Right in front was the tape he was looking for.

It was marked: Alien invasion?

“Found it!” Dan called to Jennifer, who was frantically moving threw the cupboards again. She turned to Dan and hopped off the counter, to stand right next to Dan.
Dan put in the tape and leaned back on the counter, as the video started to play.
It showed Dan and Max sneaking toward the back door. Then, Max grabbed the door and turned it. locked. He then grabbed it much harder and closed his eyes.
Dan new what he was thinking. . . open.
Dan heard a gasp and he new now Jennifer believed. Jennifer believed that aliens do existed.

I had been questioned ad prodded for answers. And now, I was in a holding cell. Cuffed and leaning against the cells gray and rusted wall.
I moaned. So stupid! And to think! This all happened just because of a stupid prank!
I moaned again.
I moaned until the guard right to the left told me to “Shut the heck up!”
I kept on thinking, Dan would save me! Hes searching for me right now! Is he?
I tortured myself with that last thought, thinking about what if Dan wasn’t coming? I would be stuck here forever. . . and ever. . . unless, Dan came.

“He is an alien!” Jennifer gaped at th video screen as it went blank.
“Yeah, he is. Let’s go! We have to save him!” Dan cried grabbing onto Jennifer’s hand again, and dragging her out the door and back to her house.
“OK, we will need to borrow your car” Dan said to Jennifer.
“Well OK. You better not crash it! It’s my dads car!” Jennifer replied sternly to Dan.
“I promise I won’t scratch it!” Dan told her crossing his heart.
She nodded and opened the garage.
“Whoa” was Dans reply, when he saw the red convertible in the garage.
He smiled evilly and thought, Welcome back old friend!

I needed to call Dan, I needed to tell him where I was.

I reached my hand into my back pocket and pulled out my cell phone. I dialed Dan, and painfully lifted my hands up my back and to my shoulder, I dropped the phone on.

“Hello?” Dans voice spoke into the receiver.

I smiled to myself and then spoke, “Dan! Hi dude! Whats up?!” I answered.

“Oh my god! Max! Are you OK? Hey where are you man? I’m at Jennifer’s, I’ve been looking all over!” Dan exclaimed.

So he has been looking all over at Jennifer’s. . . great.

“Your at Jennifer’s!” I cried.

“Yeah! I was looking for you there! I thought maybe, you know what I’m talking about! I don’t want to say it right now! Jennifer’s right next to me. But, Max! Where are you?” Dan asked me again.

“I’m in Colorado” I told him.

“Colorado!!! That will take like eighteen hours!” Dan calculated.

“Yeah, I know. You will get there by morning. I will try to find an escape rout til then” I told him.

“Listen Dan I have to go, but I can tell you this, I am in the Rock Mountains, By Arapaho National forest. Keep on going down the long dirt road. Then turn left and you will see in the mountain a see through window with a room in it. It a base. Look down beneath it and you will see a large metal door with two guards posted by it. Knock them out and steal the card that gains you entrance to the door. Go to the left and then turn right. There is a guard box there. Knock him out and then continue toward cell number three. The guard posted at the guard box has a key so make sure you get that. Good luck Dan, your going to need it. Oh and Dan?” I asked after I gave him the whole plan.

“Yeah Max?” Dan answered.

“Does Jennifer know. . . that I’m an alien?” I asked curiously.

“Yeah, she does. She was pretty shocked. Her mouth was hanging open! You should have seen it!” Dan exclaimed laughing.

I heard a “Hey!” and then an “Ow!” and I knew Jennifer heard that.

“I’ve gotta go now Dan. Good luck!” I said again and hung up.

The plan was set, and I knew that we were going to be victorious!

Dan and Jennifer had been on the road for nine hours. It was dark, midnight, and they were very tired.

Every hour they switched turns driving.

Dan had almost passed out twice, and Jennifer was just hovering around five times.

Dan snapped in her face. She woke up with a jolt.

“Huh!” Jennifer’s eyes flew open.

“You were falling asleep again. Maybe. . .” Dan began.

“No! We are not giving into sleep!” Jennifer told him strictly.

“But your really tired! You feel asleep five times already! We need to turn in. We’ll just get up really early tomorrow” I convinced her.

“But what if Max is in trouble?” Jennifer worried.

“Don’t worry! Max can take care of himself! Hes an alien for peet sake!” Dan told her.

“Well OK” Jennifer gave into sleep.

Dan drove the rest of the way to a Sunny Inn Hotel. They parked and Dan shook Jennifer awake.

“Mmmm!” Jennifer waved Dan away.

“Wake up!” Dan yelled in her ear and she jerked herself up.

“What the heck!” Jennifer yelled.

“Sorry. I needed to wake you. Were at the hotel” Dan said softly.

They got out of the car and checked in. They went back outside to get their back-packs and then went to their room.

Jennifer switched on the light.

There were to beds, with big soft white comforters and fluffy pillows.

Right in the middle of the two beds was a plasma screen TV.

right next to Dan was the door to the bathroom, and to the side of Jennifer was a closet.

“Sweet room!” Dan said plopping himself on a bed, and almost zonking out instantly.

“A bed!” cried Jennifer. Running over to the nice big bed and plopped down on it sleeping the night away.

I was still in my cell. cold and alone. The guard had gone home, but there were video cameras trained on me. Watching my every step.
I was so tired. But I couldn't sleep. It was to noisy. The echo of foot-steps. The clamber of metal clashing metal, when the guards were practicing fencing.
“Quiet down!” I yelled covering my ears.
“He doesn't like loud noises” said the hushed voice of the coming white lab coat man.
“Don’t write that down!” detective Eric said in a hushed voice.
They stopped at my cell.
Eric smiled coldly at me and said, “Your going to tell me how to defeat them, your people”

“Wake up! Wake up Jennifer!” Dan yelled at her as he flung all the thick blanket off and ran in to the bathroom to take a quick shower.
By the time Dan was done, Jennifer had already made both beds, brushed her teeth, got on a new pair of clothing and brushed her hair. She still looked like a super model.
Today she was waring a pretty dark blue silky short sleeve top and jeans.
Dan was waring a green army shirt and jeans.
“OK, let’s go” Dan said startling Jennifer.
“Did you sleep OK?” Jennifer asked.
“Yeah, I’m pumped!” Dan answered enthusiastically.

“Good because I didn’t. Your driving” She told him shoving the keys in his hands and taking the lead.

Dan grinned and followed her.

They were almost there. Since they woke up four in the morning they only had, four more hours to go until they reached Arapaho National Forest.

“Four more hours Jennifer. Only four and then we can save Max” Dan told her.

I stared at them. Are they crazy! Why would I tell them that!

“No” I said firmly.

“No? Well let’s see. Your in my base, in my house, under my rules. So let’s see how your going to get by with that. . . Um I don’t think so! Take him out of his cell!” Detective Eric commanded the guard who was now hurrying over to the cage and unlocking it.

“You probably shouldn't do that” I told him shaking a finger at him.

“What do you mean I shouldn't do this! I can do whatever I want!” Eric yelled.

The guard grabbed my arm and yanked me out of the cage to face Eric.

“I mean this!” I cried as I kicked the guard in the shin and grabbed his card.

“You shouldn't’t have done that!” I said waving the card in his face.

He wore a shock expression as I ran passed him like a bullet.

“What are you just standing there”! screeched Eric.

“Get the boy!” Eric yelled to the guard who was now shakily on his feet and running to the control room.

He pressed the button and an alarm sounded.

I ran passed startled looking guards. I got to the metal doors and furiously jammed the card in.

Eric stood at the end of the hallway running to catch me. I stepped in the door and it closed. Almost shutting Eric’s hand in the door in the process.

I smiled and then darted to the next door.
Three more times I thought as I opened the second door, and moved to the third.
I did this two more times, until I was out in the open facing to guards that had been guarding the door.
I shot one with a blue energy blast, leaving him sprawling on the ground.
The other, ran away with his tail between his legs.
I laugh.
I started to move quickly through Arapaho National Forest, hoping to catch up with Dan and Jennifer.
It seemed like they didn’t need the whole plan after all.

“Were almost to the forest. Five more minutes and we will be there” Dan told Jennifer.
“Great! Then we’ll have to turn around and then head back, for another eighteen hour drive!” Jennifer said exasperated.
“Hey! At least you haven’t been driving for like four hours!” Dan shot back.
“I have been driving! All day yesterday!” Jennifer cried.
“It least I don’t give up!” Jennifer said turning to Dan who was hunched over and staring at the steering wheel.
“Dan” Jennifer said softly.
He turned to the side of the road and parked.
“I’m sorry” She said to him.
“I shouldn’t have been so nosy. I should have just left you alone” Jennifer said to him looking down at her legs.
“No, no, no! I’m glad you were nosy and helped me! Without you, I wouldn’t be here. Without you-” Dan didn’t finish. Jennifer’s perfect lips were already on his, kissing him fiercely.

“Well! So much for saving me!”

They both turned in mid-kiss.

“Oops!” was all they could say.

“Max!” Dan cried.

“Hey guys! Wow! Instead of finding me, you guys start kissing! Is that what you were doing at the house?” I said laughing my head off.

They both got red in the face. Though mostly Dan.

“No! We were looking for you! We just decided to stop and take a break!” Jennifer came up with a lie.

“Yeah what ever! Let’s just get out of here! Their looking for me!” I urged, climbing into the car.

“Nice wheels!” I said to Jennifer but was grinning at Dan.

“Hey um Max?” Dan asked.

“Yeah” I answered.

“Could you take the wheel? Were exhausted!” Dan told me.

“Sure dude! I would love to take the wheel!” I said climbing over to the passenger seat, grinning evilly.

Jennifer saw my evil grin. “If there is one scratch on this car I will-” Jennifer began to shout.

“Don’t worry” I said backing the the car up.

“I won’t scratch a thing! And it’s not like you could do anything to me anyway!” I told her still grinning.

She sunk down low in her seat and fell asleep.

We finally broke out. . . again.

The author's comments:
There will be a second book! I'm writing today! There will be five books in the series! Hope you enjoyed the first book! Please post comments if you liked it or not or if I should change anything! I enjoy the feedback and comments! Thanks! and keep writing everyone!

I found out that another one of the aliens that came to earth, is in Florida.

Her name, is Nina Turner. We found out about her in the news paper.

Girl Shape Shifts Into A Fish!!!

Freak? Or Trick?

We were now flying to Florida to meet her. Hopefully, she recognizes me.

Now since Jennifer and Dan are together, things have changed. Like how when ever I turn my back, I here smooching sounds, and then I turn back around, and their kissing! So how though I’ll manage.

“Where do you think hes going?” Asked Detective Eric.

“Florida” replied the white lab coat man.

“Thank you Carl. You have been of much service. You may go” Eric waved him away.

He needed to find that boy, and he needed to find him now.

I’m an alien, and I will prove it to you. . .

End Of First Book. Second Book Called: The Shape Shifter



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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This book has 16 comments.


on Jan. 13 2012 at 4:16 pm
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments
Infinity is great! as usually your writing astounds me! oh and about Detective Eric, maybe. . . :)(:

on Oct. 15 2011 at 5:16 pm
kingofwriters BRONZE, DeWitt, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 196 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Books are a uniquely portable magic." - Stephen King

I love books, and I love technology, but I don't want to see the latter overwhelm the former. I just think books are meant to be pages you turn, not screens you scroll through.

writerfreak21231 read my book and said it was really good! Go to thriller/mystery books and it's called Infinity: Part One! Hope you like it!

on Oct. 15 2011 at 11:29 am
kingofwriters BRONZE, DeWitt, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 196 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Books are a uniquely portable magic." - Stephen King

I love books, and I love technology, but I don't want to see the latter overwhelm the former. I just think books are meant to be pages you turn, not screens you scroll through.

Hey, writerfreak, great story so far! 

By the way, is Detective Eric supposed to be named after me or something? ;)


on Oct. 3 2011 at 2:42 pm
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments
thanks sooooo much! srry i took so long to reply! i will be checking out some of your work for sure! :)(:

on Sep. 29 2011 at 12:28 am
nikkigonefishin GOLD, Los Angeles, California
17 articles 1 photo 145 comments

Favorite Quote:
" A smile is worth a thousand words"
" The purpose of the writer is to keep civilization from destroying itself."- Albert Camus

Hey! This is pretty good. I got to admit that it really got my attention and did have me wondering what was going to happen next. The only thing I would suggest is that you lower the specificity down. I feel that you sometimes get carried away describing things that are not very necessary and then make an awkward transition back to the main point. Other than that your novel is very intriguing ( not sure if I spelled that right :)

on Aug. 31 2011 at 8:46 am
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments
Thank you too all the fan out there for making this story get voted # 4 top voted for all novels! Thanks soooooo much again!!!! owe it all too you! :)(:

on Aug. 23 2011 at 3:47 pm
rage_against_the_machine BRONZE, St. Augustine, Florida
4 articles 7 photos 106 comments

Favorite Quote:
Difficult takes a day. Impossible takes.. oh, about a week?

No problem :)

on Aug. 23 2011 at 8:12 am
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments
thank you for the feedback and thank you for reading! :)(:

on Aug. 22 2011 at 6:10 pm
rage_against_the_machine BRONZE, St. Augustine, Florida
4 articles 7 photos 106 comments

Favorite Quote:
Difficult takes a day. Impossible takes.. oh, about a week?

Interesting concept.. however there were many grammar mistakes that drove me crazy. Missing words, incorrect adjectives ("...using my inhumanely brain...") and the wrong form of you're. You could ask any one of my friends that I am a huge stickler for that. It drives me crazy.

Grammar Na.zi out.

Haha ;)


on Aug. 17 2011 at 4:07 pm
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments
actually now it is: jellotinisjiggly24

on Aug. 15 2011 at 6:59 pm
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments
oh and my new user name is now: Malrox21213 instead of: writerfreak21231.

on Aug. 13 2011 at 11:38 am
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments
great!!! i will for sure check it out!!! :)(:

HaleyStar GOLD said...
on Aug. 12 2011 at 5:35 pm
HaleyStar GOLD, Mattoon, Illinois
12 articles 2 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The dog? You are named after a dog?"
"I had a lot of fond memories of that Dog."~Indiana Jones~

"Can you knot?"
"I cannot."
"You can knot?"
"I cannot knot." ~Winnie the Pooh movie~

Hey, just to let you know, Darkroom, the thid part to Glimpse is out, and I'm nearing the end of writing the fourth part an dthe eplilouge.

on Jul. 31 2011 at 5:16 pm
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments
thanks! and yeah! theres going to be more books! The second one is called shape shifter, the next is called greenlid, after that is the ghost, and then finally coming together. Thanks for the comment and reading! :)(:

HaleyStar GOLD said...
on Jul. 30 2011 at 3:14 pm
HaleyStar GOLD, Mattoon, Illinois
12 articles 2 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The dog? You are named after a dog?"
"I had a lot of fond memories of that Dog."~Indiana Jones~

"Can you knot?"
"I cannot."
"You can knot?"
"I cannot knot." ~Winnie the Pooh movie~

so suspenseful!!!! I loved it. You said there's going to be more books right?

 


on Jul. 30 2011 at 11:34 am
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments
Please post comments saying if u liked it or not. i enjoy fedback as well! Thanks and keep writing everyone! :)(: