CLOSURE, ONCE AND FOR ALL

The wine, despite my opposition of alcohol in its entirety, was delicious. Sweet bliss, as one would say. I could see everyone on the main floor from the second floor balcony of this amazing suite. I’ve never been in quite a place like this, let alone sleep in it. Still, it was nice. I enjoyed the classics of old Earth placed in eternal memory upon little shrines in the corners of the apartment, the concentrated pulses of lasers filling the large bulbs placed centrically within the marble pillars holding up the entire second floor, even the fountain that everyone seemed to enjoy considering the perfect placements of neon lights that reflected a variety of colors through the symmetry of the thin streams rising from the center only to arc back down into the little pool of water. Everything, down to even the smallest design patterned onto the marble walls, was perfect. However, nothing changed the fact that this could be our last night together not as comrades in arms, but as friends.

Nothing in my entire life could compare to the happiness these soldiers gave me. Their loyalty, their commitment, and their friendship; all were reasons why I was able to look upon them from the balcony. They have followed me through treacherous times, they even followed me through my act of treason; a necessary sacrifice I made in order to save countless lives. Together we defeated Tai Jin, one of the most ruthless and tyrannical rogue generals involved in Genesis. Together we’ve managed to destroy one of the largest Genesis laboratories; a place located just north of Sephora itself. Above all else, we discovered the corruption of Sephora and other Sephoran officials and their involvement in the Genesis Project. These soldiers are undeniably ready for this final mission, but I don’t know if I am. I’m probably just paranoid like always. However, I didn’t want my depression to ruin an excellent party, so I began my retreat to my quarters. However, it seems that one of my squad mates caught me just before my door closed.

“Derek, what’s wrong?” she asked me.

“Ah, don’t worry Sam. It’s nothing,” I was lying. And she saw right through me.

“Derek, don’t give me that! I can tell from the look in your eyes that something’s wrong. I know I’m not exactly the sensitive type, but you’re still our leader and that means we’re all worried.”

I stared at her for a brief moment trying to decide the best course of action. Eventually I replied, “Don’t worry about it Sam. Just forget about it.”

“What, so that’s it? I thought we were friends, Derek. All those times I stood beside you when you needed me the most, are you saying that none of that is worth trusting me? All these years and not once have you opened yourself up to me. Why won’t you let me in?” I began to notice tears forming at the base of her brown eyes.

It was true. Samantha Wright was always ready for action regardless of her condition. She could be missing an arm and I know for a fact that she would still hold her rifle steady at the heart of battle. I’ve known her for a long time, a lot longer than the rest of my squad. She was there when I lost my mother to cancer, she was there to save me during the Genesis experimentations on me, and she always looked out for me during the year I was unconscious. But I couldn’t let them see my weakness, not in these desperate times of war and suffering.

“Sam, I-“

“What’s the matter, Derek? Afraid that we’ll turn our backs on you after this?” another voice spoke, interrupting my excuse. “Or perhaps you’re afraid of what might happen out there tomorrow.” A muscular figure stepped into the door frame and leaned against the wall with his arms folded. I turned to look, realizing it was Lance Hansen after I spotted his buzz cut blonde hair.
As Lance positioned himself against the wall, Brittany Lewis entered the room; a young medic with strange pink hair capable of fighting alongside any soldier. Following Brittany was James Parsons, a sniper with deadly accuracy with any possible firearm. James always had shaggy black hair; however, he often pulled it back with a hat when it came time to use his sniper rifle in live fire action. After James situated himself, Mike Benjamin entered the room. Mike always looked up to me for some reason and after our survival of the Genesis incident, we’ve become great friends. He too had blonde hair, but he was nowhere near as muscular as Lance. Still, Mike was strong in his own way. Everyone stood around me ready to hear my next command, understand it, and fight for it.
Sam gestured towards everyone and glared at me with glowing eyes, “Why won’t you trust us?”
“Derek, I don’t mean to be insubordinate, but Sam’s right. You need to trust us. We need to be ready for this.” Lance spoke.
“You don’t understand! We’re going in blind. There’s no way for us to be ready for this at all! Aren’t you scared we might not win this time?” I cried, nearly trying to convince myself otherwise.
“Are you asking me if I’m scared of this? You’re asking the biggest badass in Sephoran history if he’s scared of a little war. That right there is an insult to what you know I’m capable of, sir.”
“I’m sorry I-“
“You want the answer, sir? Hell yeah I’m scared. As a matter of fact I believe I speak for everyone when I say that. You don’t understand how scared we are. And you know what? Maybe you’re right. Maybe we might all die tomorrow and never see the light of Sephora ever again. But you know what? I’m here ready to fight for the safety of the entire galaxy so that no one ever has to experience this s*** ever again. That’s more than enough reason for me to keep going. Where’s your reason to fight?” I could see the red rise in Lance’s pale cheeks.
“I don’t know, Lance…” I spoke, ashamed to present myself this way to my soldiers.
“If you don’t know why you want to fight, then tell us what you’re afraid of.” Brittany spoke softly.
I looked down in shame as Brittany asked that question. I knew what I was afraid of and I knew it was a reasonable fear. But if I told them my fear, I believed then they would lose trust in me. Then I began to think to myself; where are you when I need you, Miranda?

“Tch, Brian wouldn’t have stood for this bullshit.” Lance stood straight and left the room slamming his fist against the wall along the way. Soon everyone began to follow Lance one after the other with their heads down in shame until it was only Sam and I left in the room.

“Sam, I can’t-” I was suddenly interrupted by a sharp pain in my left cheek and I soon found myself falling backwards and against the wall. I looked up to see Sam standing with her fist clenched and tears rolling down her face. It was terrible sight to see; not once in my entire life have I seen Sam cry. I knew then that I was wrong.

“Did you… did you know that the whole reason I joined the military in the first place was to be with you?” She screamed at me. Before I could respond, she was gone.

As I stood to contemplate on my decisions, I realized I was wrong. All this time spent to be a strong leader to my friends, all this work put into representing myself as a leader worthy of their loyalty, has all gone to waste. I walked to the restroom and stood before my reflection. I saw a broken soldier with no will, a broken soldier too weak to save his friends. I saw the flaws in the inability to change the course of what might be. I was so scared of what might be that I completely lost sight in what was truly important. My image reflected someone weak, when indeed I was strong. I could still make out the scars long my neck and I could see the whiteness in my hair. What scared me the most, however, were my red eyes. I looked fit to be hunted down like a terrifying beast terrorizing an innocent village. I knew that I looked like a monster, I have the power of Phantoms, and I know that my own home wants me dead. But I also know that I’m too strong to let everyone down. I was determined to see this through to the end.

Yet one thing bothered me still. Could I get my squad through this alive? I turned towards the entrance of my quarters with a spark of hardened resolve. Of course I can. And I’ll get them through this no matter what it takes. I made my way down the hallway to the familiar balcony overlooking the first floor. By the time I reached it I looked down to notice every standing up straight waiting for me; smiling.

“What’s our next order of business, Commander?” Lance smiled. I could feel a smirk stretch across my face. I stood tall as everyone fixed their eyes on me.
“Men, women, soldiers, heroes,” I could feel my throat swell up with tears, “We have been through a lot. More than any other person could do. You all deserve a rest for everything you’ve done, everything you’ve accomplished, and everyone you’ve saved,” I stopped and closed my eyes in order to stop the tears rising up. After a second, I opened them, “We have lost great soldiers in the past; Brian, Billy, Dylan, Christian, and… Miranda,” I almost hesitated to speak her name, “Each has sacrificed themselves for the good of galaxy. This war has taken thousands of great soldiers’ lives. In order to end this war, I must ask you one last favor. I ask you to follow me to hell itself to put an end to this war once and for all. Some of us might not make it, but what we do in these final hours approaching will decide the fate of the entire galaxy,” I stood tall and began to salute them as a single tear fell down my cheek, “Let’s not waste this opportunity. Let’s put an end to this war and forever forge ourselves into history as the ones who brought down Cain; as the ones who ended this ‘Rapture’! Let’s put an end to this damned war, so that we all can finally have the rest we all deserve.” I smiled a fake smile as I released my salute. I knew we wouldn’t make it out alive, but hope was still a valuable key to ending this war.

“Bout damned time. Now that’s our old Commander!” Lance shouted as he threw his fist in the air. Everyone followed in rejoice as my smile became real. This was the last time I would be able to see them. Knowing that, I smiled my real smile and leaned against the railing.

At last, after everyone settled down, I said, “Everyone, drink up!” I lifted a bottle of wine and took a big gulp, set it down, and made my way to the party. At last, everything, down to the last drop of wine, was perfect; and everyone was happy.