Breakup Advice | Teen Ink

Breakup Advice

September 24, 2009
By Anonymous

After those amazing relationships end, you have to ask yourself how things will continue. If you broke up with your partner, you must either be unhappy with them, mad at them, tired of them, or some other circumstance. So, if it is you who breaks up with the other, stop and think. As one single person, you don't have any idea what the other might go through. One moment to you is completely different that that of another. For example, you might go on a date and have the time of your life, oblivious to that fact that the one you care for is about to slit their wrists in boredom.
Just and example.
But that is something that you can relate to a breakup. You might think that things are better off without the other. They might be tripping and falling behind you, trying to catch up and get you back. It happens a lot, and these breakups are the worst. I myself went through one. And I've scraped my knees so much over these past to years tripping and falling after her(yes, two years. She's so beautiful I can't stop thinking about her). I've found out the the first and most important thing you can do to stay out of those horrible, bad break ups, is to forget. Easier said then done, right? Well, there is only one way to completely get over such a thing. Overwrite the memories that the two of you shared. Now, people call this a rebound, but isn't every boyfriend/girlfriend after the first a rebound? You must make better memories with this person. Have a greater time, and think about the new things you share rather then all the things you used to share with the other. Take it from me, with time, almost everything is mendable.

The author's comments:

Similar Articles


This article has 472 comments.

on Dec. 26 2010 at 5:32 pm

   I agree with most of this. Most. 

 Notice I say not all.




 Because why would you overwrite those memories? If you truly loved someone...why even try to forget about them? I understand trying to get rid of bad memories, but if the only way to hold on to the good times is to also remember the bad...I'd choose to take a few bad memories and keep all the good ones, instead of just starting over.  

 It just seems to me, if you truly loved someone, you wouldn't forget him/her, even if they forgot you.

on Dec. 20 2010 at 4:22 pm
XxDarkAngelxX, Modesto, California
0 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
people have never really been there for me but music always has

if you forget you never really loved them and if don't forget you loved them

on Dec. 10 2010 at 2:45 pm
KaylynVictoria SILVER, Breaux Bridge, Louisiana
5 articles 0 photos 77 comments

Favorite Quote:
Always keep your head up so you never have an excuse to look down at yourself(:

I love it!!

shedevil said...
on Dec. 2 2010 at 7:22 am
shedevil, Spotsylvania, Virginia
0 articles 0 photos 31 comments
This is so true !

on Dec. 1 2010 at 5:23 pm
OriginalCarbonation GOLD, Naperville, Illinois
11 articles 0 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
dream as if you'll live forever
live as if you'll die tomorrow

yesss... but... sometimes its just wat u need to fall in love all over again. u cant be worrying about the other person if ur crazy in love with ur new one! however i know what u r saying. beccause then u get tired of them and want to leave, even tho there are still some real connections being made. and then u feel guilty for using them in some ways and stay, and more connections are made. and eventually u just have to go and then it hurts u both.

sry bout the typing and wording- going fast :P

on Nov. 22 2010 at 4:33 pm
Gothgirl BRONZE, Thomasville, North Carolina
4 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The one you love hurts you the most."

I reallyenjoyed reading this piece.

on Nov. 20 2010 at 8:12 pm
Mortie PLATINUM, Oak Run, California
31 articles 0 photos 74 comments

Favorite Quote:
Whats The Point?

that, i think, is great advise...

you should write more!!!

on Nov. 12 2010 at 11:42 pm
White_Shadow BRONZE, Putnam, Illinois
2 articles 0 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A life without cause is a life without effect." - Unknown

i understand that there are always exceptions. and i'm sorry to hear that

on Nov. 12 2010 at 8:17 am
3 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There ain't no troubles that we can't rise above, with a handful of faith and a heartful of love."- Tim McGraw, Carry On.

I beg to differ, a close friend just died & I dont think ill ever get over it, its not mendable.

on Nov. 1 2010 at 9:36 pm
FreakShow818 PLATINUM, Longmont, Colorado
23 articles 15 photos 33 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never Let The Fear OF Striking Out Keep You From Playing The Game."

I am really sorry for what you went through, but I just had to tell you something.

I've been "the girl in the bed" before, and she hurts just as much as you do. The guy probably is NOT worth it. Trust me on this one, he's just a headache and an EXTREME heartache. Though, you know him better than I do.

Just putting in my two cents!

on Nov. 1 2010 at 9:33 pm
FreakShow818 PLATINUM, Longmont, Colorado
23 articles 15 photos 33 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never Let The Fear OF Striking Out Keep You From Playing The Game."

I like the last line, almost everything is mendable.

But is it really?

Sometimes, it's hard to think so. People heal at different rates, and some people were never cut up at all. And then you're stuck there wondering if they care as much as you do.

But anyway! great article.

on Oct. 25 2010 at 9:21 am
.babycakes. GOLD, Waupaca, Wisconsin
10 articles 7 photos 8 comments
I agree. I was with a guy for a year and 4 days after we celebrated I found a girl in his bed. Apperiently something had been going on between them for a lil bit. I had a feeling something was going wrong between us I just didn't want to believe it because I'm so in love with him. That's right, I still love him with all my heart and want to be with him no matter what. Sure he hurt me but people make mistakes. I just don't know what to do anymore because I've been talking to this guy that lives 2 hours away and I'm starting to like him but I know nothing will really come of us because of the distance. I kinda feel guilty for liking him when I still love my ex. I know this is probably normal because it's only been 10 days since it all happened but it's nice knowing other people out in the world can relate. Please keep in touch :) anyone in this discussion just message me.

on Oct. 14 2010 at 3:51 pm
Tayrodactyl PLATINUM, Palmyra, Indiana
20 articles 1 photo 62 comments
I know exactly what you mean. my best friend did the same to me, except she got him to dump me by lying and telling him that i cheated even though I never did. she says that it's all true, but it really isn't, so now im heart broken... just forget your friend, cos if she rele was ur friend then she wouldn't have done that, and as for the guy... just try to find someone who makes you happy

on Oct. 13 2010 at 10:19 am
JoannaaSonn BRONZE, Thornton, Colorado
3 articles 0 photos 4 comments

I love this(:

It is soo tuee

on Oct. 8 2010 at 4:53 pm
blackraindrops BRONZE, Paradise, California
1 article 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain."
"The reason people hold onto memories so tight is because they are the only things that don't change, even when everything else does."

"Ugh", i can completly relate to you! In fact i find it somewhat almost reassuring that someone out there knows how it feels to be forbiddon to be with the one you love. Me and my ex are still completly in love with each other as well. all though his mother isn't racist she still decided to hate me with all thats in her. Me and my boyfriend snuck around for the longest time dating each other behind her back. It was hard and very stressful. After a while we had to break it off because of her. Even now she does everything she can to make my life my miserable. I can't tell you what to do.. because i'm still trying to figure that out myself. But just know that his mom is stupid for judging you she has no right. If she has said awful things to you.. don't believe them. She doesn't even know you...  I doubt that any of this helps.. but i just wanted to let you know that there is someone who can relate to you and that i'm really sorry.

amykins BRONZE said...
on Oct. 7 2010 at 6:01 pm
amykins BRONZE, Carrollton, Texas
1 article 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.

Wow, I not only agree with Cyanidesun, but love the way she wrote that.

amykins BRONZE said...
on Oct. 7 2010 at 5:54 pm
amykins BRONZE, Carrollton, Texas
1 article 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.

That's exactly how I feel, you have to confront the pain not cover it up. Eventually, you'll just have all this pain bottled up inside and what good is that? You just to learn to be able to say, "It was good while it lasted, I cherish those memories, but now it's time to make new ones."

on Oct. 6 2010 at 3:20 pm
SomethingLikeFire BRONZE, Mchenry, Illinois
1 article 1 photo 47 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Pippin: What about elevenses? Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper? He knows about them, doesn't he?" -
-- The Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring

what his mom doesn't know won't hurt her...

any way, im really sorry about the trouble you are going through. pls tell your boyfriend im so sorry for the both of you

on Sep. 26 2010 at 12:23 am
White_Shadow BRONZE, Putnam, Illinois
2 articles 0 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A life without cause is a life without effect." - Unknown

hmm. that's a tricky situation. so that you know that i am not biased, i too, am a white male that has never been the target of any racial prejudice. So for one, i'm sorry. but....if you like him enough, is being around him and talking to him periodically enough to keep you going until you ARE old enough so that his mother can't interfere? Because i have somebody that i really care about too. But i can't be with her. It's not because shes black or anything, its because she lives 2 and half hours away in chicago! she also happens to be a year older than me, so she's gunna catch the college life before me too. And thats what worries me. She truly is a beautiful girl and i have serious concerns with her finding somebody better in college and leaving me in the dust. But what can you do?  You are only so capable as one person. Sometimes things are meant to be, other times they just aren't. But its up to you whether to keep going or give up and try to move on. Hope that helped a lil bit :) i wish you the best of luck

ugh. said...
on Sep. 25 2010 at 8:41 pm
well im just completely stuck, idk what to do. me and my ex are totaly in love with eichother but he is white and im black and his mother is rasist... she never even got to meet me but we dated for about 3 years total and most of the time we were sneaking around because she told him to dump me but he never did. untill the day she threatened both of us... we had no other choice. but i still love him and i never did anything wrong, i cant change the color of my skin and its totaly not fair. we still talk like every day but it only makes me hurt more... idk what to do neither of us are old enough to live on our own but ive dated alot of guys but i have NEVER felt this way about any 1 else... if i stoped talking to him idk id be soo lost... :l what should i do?