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905-WORLD
January 11, 2013
If you called the world on a telephone,
would anyone pick up when your name on Caller ID was shown?
Or would they let it go to their answering machine,
thinking your message was a prank from a rowdy teen?
And if the world called you on your cell,
would you listen to what it had to tell?
Or would you let it ring for hours on end,
what it has to say does not affect me you’d pretend.
But whether you’d hang up is not the point I’m trying to make,
I wanted to inform you of what’s at stake,
when you turn your back on the world as it calls for you,
and put off responding for I can tell you what will ensue.
Come the day you need the world to receive your speech,
no one will show up and hear what you have to preach.
The lesson will be lost,
who knows at what cost,
and all you have to do to make sure this doesn’t occur,
is interrupt your ringtone and answer her.
© David G., Stony Brook, NY
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 18 comments.
LexusMarie PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 25 2013 at 10:57 pm
Hey there! I think that you did a wonderful job with this. I really enjoyed every aspect of this. The concept is really interesting. The rhymes are really good, they flow very well. Everything came together very well. I love the message that you get across! You're a very talented writer and I look forward to reading more of your work.
GraphicWriter DIAMOND said...
on Jun. 25 2013 at 6:43 pm
Incredible. Pulling. And when I say that, I mean it pulls you to Act, to do something, and pick up that 'phone.'
kikixkupkake GOLD said...
on May. 6 2013 at 9:23 pm
Fantastic! I love your rhyme scheme. It's very simple but effective, and your message is magnificent. 5/5! I l really enjoy the symbolism of a telephone, something so commonly used, but something so commonly abused. I also appreciate the way you accommodated today's use of Called ID to discriminate against and avoid others. Best of all, I absolutely enjoyed the twist at the end. This girl prevails something much more important, sharing the message that the speaker has feelings and just wants her audience to listen. Overall, this poem is an absolute joy to read. Thank you for posting it (:
SongBird04 said...
on May. 5 2013 at 9:41 pm
You are a very talented writer, I'm enjoying reading your poetry! Keep it up. :)
Rolledthestone SILVER said...
on Mar. 30 2013 at 7:21 pm
You...could interpret it that way.
Rolledthestone SILVER said...
on Mar. 30 2013 at 7:18 pm
I know what you mean, that's why I love and hate limericks because they're hard but beautiful when done right. Some just sound awful because people get desperate for a good rhyme that it disrupts the poem.
Helena_Noel BRONZE said...
on Mar. 29 2013 at 9:00 pm
Hmm..... creative. I know you were talking about the world, about speaking out and listening, but the last part "Listen to her" made it sound like you had a double meaning. Like there was a girl who WAS the world for the speaker. Is that any part of what you meant....?
LoonyLoopyLupin GOLD said...
on Mar. 24 2013 at 10:59 am
I like this piece. It has a good message, and the telephone metaphor was a nice, creative choice. This isn't like most limericks I've come to know, but the rhyming and bright rhythm the piece has does bring the limerick to mind. I love how you addressed such a serious issue with a light, melodic kind of verse. Nice job. :)
iimoeloveii GOLD said...
on Jan. 31 2013 at 4:10 pm
cool poem it is awesome
As someone else already said, I'm not quite sure this is truly in the style of a limerick, but it still reads really well, so that's not a big issue. I really liked this, especially the title, which first captured my attention. I love the concept as well, really creative! :)
prolifepacifist said...
on Jan. 24 2013 at 12:20 pm
Yeah, I know, I was just being facetious.
kaitlynisweird SILVER said...
on Jan. 23 2013 at 8:14 pm
I kind of liked the concept of the poem although I'm not sure if this is the right form of a limerick.
kaitlynisweird SILVER said...
on Jan. 23 2013 at 8:13 pm
The world doesn't LITERALLY have a gender, as far as I know. It's a poem. It's metaphoric. Then again, "Mother Earth" or "Mother Nature" are common terms.
prolifepacifist said...
on Jan. 23 2013 at 4:44 pm
Additionaly, why do you assume that the world is a 'her'? And I think the world wouldn't have a number... because it's line would constantly be busy with complaints and the world wouldn't be able to hire enough people to deal with it. :)
prolifepacifist said...
on Jan. 23 2013 at 4:42 pm
If you want people to care about you, you gotta care about others... thas what I got from this. Love ya, rolledthestone...but I think if I got a telephone call from "WORLD", I'd be pretty creeped out... we got an expert hacker on our hands ! *cough*cough*
Rolledthestone SILVER said...
on Jan. 20 2013 at 8:54 pm
As you wish m'lady.
even though the pattern of a limerick is supposed to be aabb, its not actually that easy to do. the number of syllables in a sentence can make it sound rythmic or not. You did an amazing job a capturing that pattern. and the message it sends makes it even better.
also, could you please give me feedback on my poem game point?
also, could you please give me feedback on my poem game point?
