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I am not
There is a moment encapsulated within a photograph framed on my dresser
In it, my mother embraces the newborn me
My mother's eyes and smile glow with the joy brought by the birth of her precious child
Every time I look at that photograph, tears leak from my eyes
Burning like acid rain as they tumble down my cheeks
Because I knew my mother never expected that a daughter would destroy her this terribly
She never anticipated that my very existance would hurt her this badly
My mother has sacrificed everything for me
And yet all I am capable of doing is tearing her gentle heart to shreds
My pernicious nature has done nothing but erode her love for me
Everything is my fault and I take full responsibility
I am such a knotted, shattered mess
I expel shards of glass that pierce the hearts of all whom I care about
I am a grenade that explodes in the hands of anyone who tries to help me
And to my mother, I am an atomic weapon
Not only do I inflict pain upon her, but I also alter her DNA so she is no longer the same
This is my doing
And this is why that photograph makes me cry
Because I knew my mother once took pride in calling me her daughter
But now
She does not
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