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The Mime

January 14, 2015
By AbigailGilgal GOLD, Cloquet, Minnesota
More by this author
AbigailGilgal GOLD, Cloquet, Minnesota
12 articles 0 photos 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I write for the same reason I breath- because if I didn't, I would die"
~Isaac Asimov

"There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at the typewriter and bleed."
~ Ernest Hemingway

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A painted face
Eyes shining brightly
Crisp white gloves
Hiding hands
Rose red lips
A perfect smile
Clothes all black
Brilliant contrast
Walking and dancing
Moving just right
Laughing and crying
Silent
And I can’t help but wonder
Who is the one behind the pained face

© Rebecca S., Coventry, RI

The author's comments:

Inspired by a picture. I suggest reading it a few times to get the rythm.

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 13 comments.

elycavill SILVER said...
on Apr. 8 2015 at 3:48 pm
elycavill SILVER, Samobor, Other
5 articles 0 photos 186 comments

Favorite Quote:
Leave nothing but footprints,
Take nothing but pictures,
Kill nothing but time.

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Great use of description technique. Keep up
CreativeFreakkk DIAMOND said...
on Apr. 2 2015 at 11:28 am
CreativeFreakkk DIAMOND, Spencer, Iowa
53 articles 40 photos 204 comments

Favorite Quote:
Stand up for what you believe in even if it means standing alone. -Andy Biersack
Sometimes you gotta fall before you can fly. -Kellin Quinn
You made me hate my own reflection. -Sleeping With Sirens

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This is great! I never really thought of the person behind the paint in quite this way. You did a great play on words on lines 9-12. This poem, although fast, is amazing.
ABIGAIL.S PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 1 2015 at 10:21 am
ABIGAIL.S PLATINUM, Trenton, Ohio
37 articles 3 photos 35 comments

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"only you can start a change you want"

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I loved it. Its beautiful.
Lysander PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 31 2015 at 11:33 pm
Lysander PLATINUM, Bangalore, Other
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I slay.

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loved it...
Allen. PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 15 2015 at 8:43 am
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
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I like this very much. One thing that I think could be improved is how the writing flows.
CaseyChickenWang SILVER said...
on Feb. 3 2015 at 11:36 pm
CaseyChickenWang SILVER, McDonough,
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I. Love. it. I can almost hear it in a song. I love how it's so much more than a surface poem- it really makes one reflect :)
ThePoeticJustice PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 30 2015 at 7:56 pm
ThePoeticJustice PLATINUM, Houston, Texas
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the silent strangers... beautiful, bby girl.
JRaye PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 30 2015 at 8:56 am
JRaye PLATINUM, Dorr, Michigan
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I wrote a poem similar to this actual, same title & pic - It's a haiku, but yeah, if you wanna check it out go ahead! :) Anyway I like this a lot, very descriptive and deep :)
AbigailGilgal GOLD said...
on Jan. 29 2015 at 3:10 pm
AbigailGilgal GOLD, Cloquet, Minnesota
12 articles 0 photos 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I write for the same reason I breath- because if I didn't, I would die"
~Isaac Asimov

"There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at the typewriter and bleed."
~ Ernest Hemingway

View profile
Thanks so much! And yeah it is kind of rough. Normally when I write I am to wordy and I think I might have tried a little too hard to keep it short and precise.
AprilNicoleJones BRONZE said...
on Jan. 28 2015 at 4:11 pm
AprilNicoleJones BRONZE, New Castle, Indiana
4 articles 0 photos 39 comments

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there is a voice within me
that will not be still."
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Published poems from my former accounts:
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I really like this one. It's kind of choppy in some places, but you get across a really deep meaning in a small poem, which you've done really well. It's definitely an emotional piece. Good job! :)
AbigailGilgal GOLD said...
on Jan. 27 2015 at 5:16 pm
AbigailGilgal GOLD, Cloquet, Minnesota
12 articles 0 photos 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I write for the same reason I breath- because if I didn't, I would die"
~Isaac Asimov

"There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at the typewriter and bleed."
~ Ernest Hemingway

View profile
Thanks so much for the feedback! I added punctuation and I think it made the whole thing flow better. Thanks for the tips!
teacuppoetry GOLD said...
on Jan. 27 2015 at 4:44 pm
teacuppoetry GOLD, Lancashire, Other
15 articles 1 photo 23 comments

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I see the premise of the poem. However, I feel that you could perhaps swap and change a few of the lines. By editing, you can make your own voice shine through :) Also, try experimenting with punctuation x
MalaikaJ GOLD said...
on Jan. 22 2015 at 11:48 am
MalaikaJ GOLD, Cloquet, Minnesota
19 articles 2 photos 127 comments

Favorite Quote:
I love writing. I love the swirl and swing of words as they tangle with human emotions. - James Michener

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I love this!!! It was so ordinary until the last three lines. Those made the whole thing deep. Great job!