See me as I am.
I'm broken, flawed,
I can't do anything right,
These paintings on my wrist,
that crooked smile,
those words I say to make them think that I'm okay.
I think they know,
they can see past everything,
like my eyes open up to my soul and they see my past,
they know...
Everyone does but they can't accept it,
they don't want to,
That's the thing about this world
people only see what they want to see,
but deep down they know how hurt people are,
but they block it out,
because who wants to see the terrible things in life?
I look at the lines I haven't drawn in a while
but I feel like I need to,
I just don't understand...
Rubbing my hand on my dry sketches
it feels like it's burning my fingers,
like it's on fire...
But the feeling is calming in a way,
it gets worse when I stop
I feel like I need to keep drawing...
Painting, sketching, maybe just scribbles,
because I press down to hard,
and then I see nothing but lines...
I guess it's only because I can feel?
When people ask me, who are you?
What do you want to do with your life?
Where do you see yourself ten years from now?
Well I am someone who hurts,
someone who is losing how she feels
and is about to let go and jump off of this cliff.
I honestly would love to actually make something of this life that I'm stuck in.
Ten years from now...
I see nothing but I feel everything...
Am I still here?
I just desperately need that one person who will love me no matter what,
hold me tight and never let go... Yes I have friends...
Do they know about my sketches...? Yes they do...
What are they doing about it? Nothing...
I feel so bad because I know if I keep up my drawings
that I will eventually lose everything.
The things and the people that are so close to me,
I will lose them.... Then I would really be gone...