when I fell asleep I used to see | Teen Ink

when I fell asleep I used to see

April 10, 2013
By migwam ELITE, Tumwater, Washington
migwam ELITE, Tumwater, Washington
240 articles 20 photos 151 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." --Marcus Aurelius


when I fell asleep I used to see
burning cities burning lips and tarnished keys
and you,
longlimbed thinfingered apparition,
stretching your world to meet mine
but out of time.

when I fell asleep I felt the pain
of chord progression dream regression shame
and you,
longlimbed thinfingered apparition,
pushing your island away from mine
and all in time
I know I will wake up.



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This article has 4 comments.


on Apr. 24 2013 at 9:36 am
lily_sings GOLD, Felton, Pennsylvania
15 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
Hope is the thing with feathers, it perches in the soul, and sings the tune without the words and never stops at all. -Emily Dickinson

I absolutely adore this poem...we share similar thought processes in terms of word choice and metaphors :)

Mckay ELITE said...
on Apr. 22 2013 at 2:28 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

I view my poetry pretty much the same way as the rambling of my mind. Although, I see your "rambling" as clearer and more poetic.

migwam ELITE said...
on Apr. 19 2013 at 12:39 pm
migwam ELITE, Tumwater, Washington
240 articles 20 photos 151 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." --Marcus Aurelius

Your feedback always makes me look at my poetry in a different way. I see that it reflects a lot more of my personal Universeview than I thought it does... mostly I just see it as rambling. But, no matter what we have lost, or WILL lose, there is always ghosts and shadows of it all in everything we are.

Mckay ELITE said...
on Apr. 17 2013 at 1:31 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

You are amazing with that capturing of human helplessness and hoplessness. I think it's you forte; that's just me. Last lines capture that. No matter how hard we try to retain what we have now; eventually it all fades away—freinds, family, life, and our ex-es and present lovers.