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Self Hatred
Saw a face
In the mirror today
Who it belonged to
I can’t really say
It looked exactly like me
Same hair, same face
But more perfection,
More beauty, more grace
I see a flash of it
Everywhere
It has no owner,
No equal pair
It lingers longer
When I see it now
It laughs at me
It does somehow
It whispers awful things
In my ears
It knows all my insecurities
And all my fears
It slipped through the mirror
Once I checked my weight
Took me by the wrist
Cut it with a razor blade
I refuse to look in the mirror,
I know it’ll be there
But it’s pointless
I am always victim of its stare
It hangs around me,
Follows me everywhere now
I want it to stop
But I don’t know how
It no longer whispers
It screams and shouts
It’s voice echoes my mind
It knows all my doubts
I was so weak
And ill that day
That it decided to take
My life away
In the depths of my closet
It had hidden
A length of rope
And it said, “Good riddance”
My neck was caught,
Its hands were tight
The rope was loose
There was no light
I called for help
But somehow could not
The rope was tightening
Into a fierce little knot
I swung
I wept
I hung
I dreamt
But still one thought
Haunted my mind,
How could the hands that killed me
Look exactly like mine?
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