Comprimise Part 2 | Teen Ink

Comprimise Part 2

June 4, 2015
By Anonymous

As many of you may remember, last week I wrote about some of the odd political compromises throughout history. Many of you among us, like myself, may have found some of those historical examples of deal making and peace bringing to be inspirational. That is why I am about to propose a political compromise that will rival all of the others. With my compromise, I intend to resolve an issue plaguing our contemporary society. In the united states of america, it is illegal for women to occupy a public space while her breasts are exposed, while men may do so as they choose, exposing their breasts of covering them. Feminists will argue that argue that a woman’s breast ought not to be covered because there’s really no point. I mean seriously, what are they hiding? Who doesn’t know what a boob looks like? Raise your hand if you don’t know what a boob looks like. Plus they do it in Europe so whats the big deal? Fundamentalists, however, argue for tradition, and family values. Surely, every american can remember the valuable family tradition of the Shrouded Teet. For those who don’t remember, the Shrouded Teet is a tradition dating back to Puritan times. Women were expected to keep their breasts covered at all times or, as legend had it, the wrath of God would cast harsh ultraviolet rays onto the breast of the woman and the teet would then become so chapped and burnt that if a nursing woman had become afflicted, the infant would only be drinking blood and therefore grow to be a vampire. So in order to protect both the right of women to feel comfortable in their own bodies, and to protect fundamentalists from their fear of vampires, I propose a compromising law that allows women to exposes one breast in public whenever they please. This way, all women may freely express their comfort and their bodies and fundamentalists should have no fear because women will always the covered breast to use for nursing.



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