I Am Not Scared | Teen Ink

I Am Not Scared

August 6, 2022
By JuliaMarell BRONZE, Short Hills, New Jersey
JuliaMarell BRONZE, Short Hills, New Jersey
3 articles 0 photos 0 comments

The subject of this essay tends to make a lot of white people uncomfortable. White privilege. 

What does it mean to have white privilege? I am not scared to go on a drive by myself at night. I am not scared to be in public with a hood over my head. I am not scared. I don’t think twice about it. This shows my privilege.

I grew up in Short Hills, New Jersey. Home to over 13,000 people and the 13th best school district in the United States. And it’s no secret that the people living in this town are well-off. I live in a “bubble”, as I like to call it. I am shielded from the darkness that is found just outside of my town. I am grateful that I have not been exposed to much hardship, but I also see this as a detriment. This safeguard has made me ignorant and, although I admit this, I do not accept it. The only way to escape this ignorance is to read the stories of others and learn from them.

Of the stories I have read, Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson has impacted me the most. This book explores the corruption and abuse of our justice system and the racism embedded in our society. It is not the type of story to read bundled up in blankets on a cold day with a cup of tea. It is heavy. Stevenson tells the true story of a black man, Walter McMillan, who was sentenced to death for the murder of a white woman, a crime he did not commit. Walter was blamed for the murder because the police needed to close the case in order to calm the citizens of Monroeville, Alabama. Black witnesses provided multiple alibis for Walter, but the court sentenced him nonetheless. The only basis for this accusation were the false claims of a white man from a different county. The jury in this case were mostly white, and they destroyed Walter’s life.

Why is this my problem? I felt uncomfortable reading about the injustices and treatment of the people in this story, and it made me realize that I am part of the problem. I’m privileged because I feel safe walking by myself. I'm privileged because I am not scared of being accused of a murder I did not commit. Because I am not scared of being put on death row just for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. But, I’m only 17. I didn’t do anything wrong. Right? I am not responsible for the unjust incarceration of a person of color. Am I?

Daunte Wright. Andre Hill. Manuel Ellis. Rayshard Brooks. Breonna Taylor. Atatiana Jefferson. Aura Rosser. Stephon Clark. Botham Jean. Alton Sterling. Freddie Gray. Eric Garner. Michelle Cusseaux. These are only some of the many black people who have been killed as a result of police brutality. In 1964, the Civil Rights Act was passed ending racial segregation. However, legislation alone does not eradicate this problem. On May 25th of 2020, George Floyd was arrested for buying cigarettes with counterfeit money. On May 25th, George Floyd was murdered. On May 25th, the people whose job it is to protect citizens’ lives, took the life of a citizen. Three police officers felt it was necessary to pin Floyd on the ground, ignore his screams declaring he was unable to breathe, render him unconscious, and kill him. It is sickening. 

Everyday people are mistreated because of something out of their control. Whether it is for their skin color, ethnicity, sexual preferences, and more. A large percentage of my community is Jewish. As a Jew living in Shorthills, New Jersey, I am not subject to a large degree of antisemitism, though I am aware that it is a big problem. It has been calculated that one in four Jewish people in the US experienced antisemitism this past year. Another survey found that 1 in 10 adults under 40 had never heard the word “Holocaust” before. The reason I mention this, is not to equate racism and antisemitism, but this is the closest I can come to understanding the experiences of the black population. I will never know what it is like to be black, but I can see what it is like to experience hate based on something beyond my control. For the Jews, the black community, the LGBTQIA+ community, and so many others who deal with some form of oppression, I want to keep reading and learning in order to try my best to sympathize with these victims, as well as make an effort to gain understanding about the world through the eyes of someone in a different position than myself. 

I know that I will never understand the extent of this problem. I am not a victim of systemic racism. I have only just begun to learn about the damaging effects of racism on the lives of so many people. I continue to educate myself about this issue by listening to the news and reading other books similar to Just Mercy. I do not accept my ignorance as a result of my privilege. I choose to expose myself to the harsh truth about society and fight my ignorance with education.

Issues like racism, privilege, and injustice do not just fade away. People need to be willing to make a change and educate themselves. No one who is white should be scared to explore these issues. It is as simple as talking to others about their experiences, listening to podcasts, watching the news, and reading books. It may make you uncomfortable, but that is kind of the point. If people are not willing to go out of their comfort zone to learn about the daily discomfort that black people face, then a change will never be made.

No one should be scared to go on a drive by themselves at night. No one should be scared to be in public with a hood over their head. No one should be scared because of the color of their skin.


The author's comments:

The main focus was on issues of race. As a white teenage girl living in the bubble that is Short hills New Jersey, this really pushed me to look beyond myself and my life. I feel very passionate about the police brutality present in today’s society, which allowed me to put a lot of emotion and personal thoughts in my writing. This book is my favorite book to this day, so I really enjoyed writing this piece for that reason as well.


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