The last thing she saw was a flash of light. Sensing there was noise all around her, she wondered why she could not hear a sound. Trying to keep her eyes open, her sight began to blur. Her eyelids fell and she lost all awareness of where she was.

Hannah awoke to a steady, slow beeping. The only part of herself she could control were her eyelids, so she slowly opened them, adjusting her eyes to the well-lit room. She stretched her fingers and tried to look around at her surroundings. Her neck was sore, but she could see what was directly in sight. An empty chair sat to the left of a closed wooden door. To the right of that door was a spring painting full of color. Instead of accenting the room as intended, the painting seemed out of place. The bed she lay in was made of white metal and her sheets were periwinkle. A beige fleece blanket was folded at the foot of her bed. Hannah managed to lift her sheets enough to reveal the blue and white striped gown tied around her neck and waist.

Hannah knew she should be concerned, but was surprisingly at ease. She gained full control of her body and sat up, taking a full scan of the room. Hannah was in a hospital room by herself, and somehow felt at ease. Why was she not worried? There was no one around; she was completely alone. However, she knew there was someone there. There was always someone there. Still, how did she end up here? Why could she not remember?

Just then the door to Hannah’s room opened. She expected to see her mother on the other side, but was mistaken. An exhausted man entered the room and was surprised to find Hannah awake and well.

“Well it’s about time you woke up”, the man said.

Hannah just stared at him, confused.

“You remember what happened?” he asked as if she should know who he was.

“No, actually, I don’t remember a thing. Where’s my mom?” Hannah no longer felt comfortable where she was. She was sure her mom would show up any minute, but what was taking her so long? Why wasn’t she by her side?

“She should be here soon, unless you’re ready to go home, then we can just meet her there.”

“We?”

“You don’t seem yourself kiddo, you alright?”

“Can you just tell me what happened?” Hannah was growing irritated.

“You were in a car accident. You don’t remember anything? You were pretty banged up, but you’re looking much better now, so don’t worry, we’ll be home in no time, kiddo.”

Again that one word caught Hannah’s attention. “We’ll?”

“Yes, we will be able to go home soon I’m sure. Let me go speak with the doc.” The man left the room, slamming the door behind him.

Hannah jumped out of bed, a bit too quickly. Feeling lightheaded, she fell back onto the bed. “Maybe I’m just still tired and confused from the accident”, she thought to herself.

The man was back before she had time to think any more about her situation. A doctor she had never seen before followed him into the room.

“Well, Hannah, nice to see you’re able to sit up already.” He smiled, looking down at his clipboard. “Everything feel alright?”

Hannah nodded. “Just a little fuzzy, that’s all.”

The doctor instructed Hannah to lie back down in the bed as he examined her. The strange man who had been there before had left the room, promising to be back shortly. Hannah used this time to ask the man with the clipboard who that man was. The doctor looked confused.

“He’s your dad, Hannah”, he said, chuckling a little. “Are you being serious?” Hannah could tell by the man’s face, he was not lying to her.

Days went by, and Hannah stayed in the hospital, being tested, examined, and questioned. The doctor concluded that Hannah had damaged her brain in the accident and had lost part of her memory. She knew who she was; but she did not recognize her own family. Her mother was as much a stranger to her as the man was. It was difficult for Hannah to grasp the fact she had lost her memory. Every once in a while, she would have a glimpse into her past, but what she remembered did not match up with what was here. For some reason, she felt something was missing with these two people who called themselves her parents. Something was off. She could not remember exactly what it was, but this was definitely not the life she remembered. She was sure of it, until the day she was released from the hospital. The doctor explained to her that her brain had been damaged and that mixing up memories was normal. He assured her this would lessen as time went on, and said he was hopeful that her real memory would soon come back to her.

Hannah was not at all relieved, but at least felt that there was a reason she felt so lost in this life. She began doubting her own feelings and convinced herself that it was just her damaged brain speaking. “I just need a little more time to recover”, she told herself.

This so called mom and dad led Hannah out of the hospital and into their shiny new Range Rover. For some reason Hannah was shocked to see such a nice car. She got in and it was completely foreign to her. “I’m sure I’ll remember my house, at least”, Hannah assured herself. However, as they pulled into her long, curvy driveway, she prayed this was not her house, for she had never seen this place before. It was huge, and all stone, and had a lawn that was perfectly mowed. Hannah’s parents seemed to not even notice her confusion and frustration. They got out of the car into their three-car garage, and Hannah followed them into the estate.

Hardwood floors, expensive paintings, and high-class furniture filled the house. Hannah was amazed. She could not figure out why she was so saddened by her surroundings. She thought about it and realized how lucky she truly was. She had everything she could ever imagine. How could she be any happier? Hannah ran through the house, exploring every inch of it. “This is incredible!” she exclaimed.

“What’s incredible is that you forgot to take your shoes off, Hannah. You know they belong in the laundry room. I’ll give you a day or two to adjust, but I expect that memory of yours to be back soon.”

Hannah hesitated to respond. She still had not used the words “mom” or “dad” since the accident, and had not yet told them she loved them. She felt like she should be more affectionate with them, but they seemed to act as if this lack of affection was normal. They had hugged her a couple of times, but had not tortured her with love as she expected them to. “Why did she expect this of them? This was better wasn’t it? She had her freedom, why did she want anything else?” she wondered to herself.

She told the woman she was sorry, ran to the laundry room she had passed on her way in and took off her boots. Hannah decided she would just have to be patient and wait for her memory to come back, and just try her best to be the daughter they wanted until then.

When Hannah’s mom told her she could stay home from school for the week and just take it easy, she was relieved. She wanted this time to spend with her parents and rediscover who she really was. Her parents, however, informed her that the next morning they would have to go back to work. Hannah was disappointed and surprised they would leave her alone so soon, but knew she could not complain.

When Hannah awoke the next day, the house was empty. She slept all the way into the late afternoon and wondered why her parents had not waken her up before they left, or at least called to make sure she got up. Hannah tried to keep busy while her parents were gone. She explored the house, realizing how perfectly organized each room was. She searched through photo albums and looked for any family videos that would help to remind her of her past. There were not too many pictures of her growing up, though, and not many items in the house that would remind her of her childhood. The house seemed to be all business. Hannah felt an odd desire to make a mess in the kitchen with her mom, or go into the office where her dad worked and shuffle around some of the neatly stacked papers. She wanted to track mud into the house and be able to laugh about it later. Hannah somehow knew, though, that her mother was not the kind to bake in the kitchen. Her father was not the one to be easygoing about his workspace. Her parents were definitely not the type to allow mud to be tracked into the house.

As Hannah searched through the kitchen for something to eat, she noticed a note sitting on the counter. For a second, she was relieved. “They didn’t wake me, so they just left me a note instead! Of course. They wouldn’t just leave me without saying anything. I should’ve known they left me a note,” Hannah said to herself.

She skipped over to the granite counter top and grabbed the note, almost holding her breath. The note read, “Hannah- there’s money on the table and remember the menus are in the top drawer if you want to order something to eat. There should also be a few things in the refrigerator. –Mom”. Hannah did not know what she expected the note to say, but that sure was not it. Hannah ordered herself a pizza and had a slice as she waited for her parents to get home. She was about to call her mom when she realized she could not even remember what her mom’s cell phone number was. Hoping they would be home soon, Hannah sat down in the family room and watched TV. Hours went by before she heard the door open. It was her dad, who walked in carrying a pizza box.

“Well, I brought home some pizza for dinner, kiddo. You hungry?” he asked, acting as if the day was a completely normal routine.

“I had pizza for lunch actually but sure why not.” Hannah said, deciding not to confront him about being gone all day with no concern for how her day had gone.
He assured Hannah her mom would be home shortly and could just eat later. He took a slice of pizza and went into his office, leaving the box open for Hannah. Hannah grabbed a piece and went to the table. She wondered to herself why there was even a table in the kitchen. She could tell that they rarely ever sat down to eat as a family. Hannah ate alone and then went up to her room to take a shower. When she got out of the shower, she hoped her mom would come running up to see her and ask her about her day. She wanted her mom to come into her room or yell for her to come downstairs for ice cream. She wanted to be rushing around to get downstairs in time for the movie to start, that they would be watching as a family.

Hannah got changed into her pajamas and ran down the steps, not knowing what to expect. Her mom was standing in the kitchen talking on the phone. Hannah came down and went into the family room, hoping her mom would hang up and join her. Her mom smiled at Hannah and continued speaking. Hannah turned on the TV and her mom signaled her to turn down the volume. Instead, Hannah just turned it off and went upstairs. She lay in her bed and cried her eyes out.

When Hannah opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was a flash of light. She squinted, trying to adjust her eyes to the well-lit room. The flash was coming from a cell phone. A woman was holding the phone, trying to take a picture of Hannah.

“Hannah!” The woman exclaimed. “How are you feeling baby? Are you ok? I didn’t mean to wake you, but I knew you would want to see what you looked like after your accident. I figured you would like looking so tough,” the woman said with a smile. She put the phone down and approached Hannah’s side, taking her hand.

“But…but what happened? Where am I?” Hannah asked, desperate for answers.

“Shhh… it’s alright honey. You were in a car accident. Don’t you remember? You were knocked out and you’re banged up pretty badly but you’ll be just fine. Calm down, sweetheart; I’m here. Everything is alright,” her mom said, stroking her hair back off of her forehead.

“Mom?”

“Yes, anything I can do for you?”

Before Hannah could respond, a man with two little boys came into the room following a nurse.

“They have all been very anxious for you to wake up, Hannah. You are one lucky girl, that’s for sure. You’re family sure loves you a lot,” the nurse told her before examining her.

Hannah looked around the room at each of the faces. Her mom was here, her dad was here, and her two little brothers were here. They were all here for her, just as she had remembered them. The nurse was right; she sure was lucky.

“But what about that other…?” Hannah began, cutting herself short when she realized she must have been dreaming.

The nurse proudly announced everything looked good and Hannah would be able to go home in no time. Meanwhile, the two boys were swinging from their dad’s arm and climbing all over him, when their mom gave them a “knock-it-off” look. “Hannah is just waking up boys, give her some peace and quiet please. She probably wants to be alone for a little while.”

“No, mom, it’s ok. Please, they’re fine; just let them fool around. It doesn’t bother me one bit.”

Her mom seemed surprised but smiled and took her hand again. “I am so sorry, Hannah,” she began. “You left the house angry and annoyed and it’s my fault. I know I’ve been hovering lately; I just don’t want to miss out on anything in your life. You’re leaving me for college soon and I just have to accept that I guess. I really am sorry for being too involved in your life. I’ll work on letting you go, I promise.”

Hannah flashed back to right before the accident. She remembered yelling at her mom, yelling at her whole family actually, and then storming out of the house. She couldn’t even remember exactly why she had been so angry.

“No mom, stop. It’s okay. I’m sorry. I want you to annoy me. I want the boys to steal my homework and run away with it so that I have to chase them. I want you to ask me a million questions about my day. I want you to wake me up in the morning so I don’t sleep the day away. I want you to yell at me for taking too long upstairs when the boys are waiting for that Disney movie to start. I want you to hover. I miss it mom, so much. I love you.”

Hannah sat up and wrapped her arms around her mom. A tear fell from her mother’s eye. She had no idea where this was coming from, but she was not about to question it. She took it in and hugged Hannah right back.

“I love you too, sweetheart”.

Hannah’s dad looked over and a tear even fell from his eye.

Hannah leaned away and looked at her family. “I’m sorry, all of you, I really am” she smiled, scanning the room.

One of her younger brothers ran over and jumped in her lap hugging her. “We all love you, Hannah, and we’re so glad you’re okay” her dad said.

“Just thanks for being here with me,” she said. Her parents exchanged a look, and knew something inside Hannah had changed, but would never know why.

When Hannah got home, she jumped out of the minivan and ran into the house, knowing exactly what she would fine. She started laughing the second she stepped inside.

“What’s so funny?” her mom asked. “I know you don’t like it when the house is so messy and I’m sorry, but I just haven’t had the chance to clean it. I’ve been so busy this week with your soccer games and your brothers’ parent teacher conferences. And then of course I couldn’t get any cleaning done today…”

“Mom!” Hannah laughed. “I like it this way.”

Hannah’s mom never knew why she no longer wanted her freedom, why she no longer hated her guts, and why she no longer seemed to always want to escape her family. She was happy, though, and so was Hannah. The family all crowded onto their old, but comfortable couch, and Hannah picked a movie they would all like.

“Want some popcorn, peanut?” her dad asked before he joined them on the couch. Her nickname had never sounded so comforting. She was just so glad he had not called her kiddo.

Her dad came back with the popcorn a few minutes later, and the family camped out in the family room that night. Hannah was the last one to fall asleep, and thanked God she was given a second chance with this crazy, but loving family she was so lucky to have.