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White Lace
December 23, 2013
Our time together is a fleeting dream
Sparse moments of felicity and glee
Though our affection vanquishes my esteem
Never have you genuinely loved me
For there is another more fair than I
Angelic beauty, her radiant smile
A fiery and avid flame in your eye
As you see your bride glide along the aisle
Tears cascade down my cracked, porcelain face
For I try to hide the pain of heart break
The promise of forever wrapped in lace
Forcing me to feel the tortuous ache
My heart still refuses what my head knows
Which is to repair my life I must go
© Olivia E., Alto, MI
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 7 comments.
bruisedmemories ELITE said...
on Sep. 27 2014 at 12:31 pm
This poem is absolutely gorgeous! I love your rhymes! They're really unique! I know you're asking for constructive critism, but I don't have anything else to say! There's not a single thing about this piece that I would change! Voted 5/5! x
RoyalCorona SILVER said...
on Jan. 9 2014 at 6:21 pm
This was beautiful and morose at the same time! You elegantly portrayed the story in so little words! I absolutely love it!
author_musical PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 8 2014 at 10:49 pm
I don't know what to say about this but it's just amazing. I loved the imagry and the illusion of "cracked porcelin skin". I've personally used something to that effect. I like it!
a sonnet. very nice. love the imagery in this and how it helps the poems move forward. the third line kinda confuses me, shouldnt "affection" help with "Esteem" and at parts its does feel a bit choppy, but i think its because of the rhyme structure. i was never a big fan of shakesperian sonnets. or maybe its the pertrarchan sonnet. the rhyme scheme dosent appeal to me. other than that, i like the poem. PS: just like you said how you dont like free verse poems, i have likes and dislikes too. im not, by any means, am saying that your poems are bad. they are just not my cup of tea.
Myvoice4change SILVER said...
on Dec. 24 2013 at 5:57 pm
Very well written! Good rhyming scheme and rhythm, and you are very descriptive, using words like "angelic beauty," "cracked, porcelain face." Very well done!
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Favorite Quote:
Hold fast and keep your head up high for life will pass right by you like a speeding bird if you don't acknowledge it- Charles Moorer III (me)