A Shawdow's Yearning | Teen Ink

A Shawdow's Yearning

November 9, 2012
By larissaecm SILVER, Victoria, Other
larissaecm SILVER, Victoria, Other
7 articles 0 photos 44 comments

As the dawn comes up
The ocean tickles my feet,
Bringing a small smile,

I watch and yearn so,
as the sunlight reaches me,
I'm fading, crying,

It's so beautiful,
I can't tear my eyes away,
I am a shawdow,

Fading from the sun,
My yearing is my death wish,
I silently leave.



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This article has 6 comments.


on Jun. 15 2013 at 12:35 pm
larissaecm SILVER, Victoria, Other
7 articles 0 photos 44 comments
Thank you :D

HazelGrace said...
on Jun. 14 2013 at 11:26 pm
Hmm. I like this a lot. But, I am a little confused by the title because it implies that the shadow is yearning for something, but it is not exactly clear what that is in the poem. And I am confused on the crying and the death- why is the shadow sad? I think overall you have a good sense of rythm and what sounds good in writing, I would just suggest writing more purposefully about one thing, But also make sure that it is true and real. Nice poem

Zach_M said...
on May. 4 2013 at 3:20 pm
In a way this gave me chill bumps... I don't even know why but it was beautiful. Great Job

x_rbdf GOLD said...
on May. 4 2013 at 1:50 am
x_rbdf GOLD, Augusta, Georgia
17 articles 1 photo 47 comments

Favorite Quote:
He who faces give no light shall never become a star

Beautiful Masterr pieace I can feel the emotion !!!!! 1000000000% Loved it ! Loved it ! LOVED IT!!!

on Dec. 7 2012 at 10:40 pm
larissaecm SILVER, Victoria, Other
7 articles 0 photos 44 comments
aww shucks thanks

PiperBloo GOLD said...
on Dec. 5 2012 at 7:17 pm
PiperBloo GOLD, Long Island, New York
12 articles 0 photos 54 comments

Favorite Quote:
"there are 2 types of writer's: one that makes you think and one that makes you wonder"Brian Aldiss
"Some things i cannot change but til i try i'll never know" Wicked the musical

Well done, very straight and to the point, but i enjoyed it! keep writing!