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October Nights MAG
April 4, 2010
By the light of the
Silvery October moon
You pull me to your
Hip, my face is red
From nervousness and running.
“Do you want to?” You
Ask, any other
Night I'd say no easily.
But I'm not thinking
Straight tonight and you're
Charming, nice but not handsome
No, no but I lean
In anyway, and for
A first kiss it's pretty
Terrible, your lips
Are like a suction
Cup, when you pull away I'm
Rejoicing inside.
© Elise B., Gaithersburg, MD
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This article has 14 comments.
Misfit95 said...
on Sep. 28 2012 at 10:45 am
The title made me think that the poem would be about fall or Halloween, but I like it. :)
beautifulspirit PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 7 2012 at 7:21 am
I like it very much. From the title "October Nights", I thought it would be about the wickedness and mischief that occurs on Halloween. But I'm happy to say that I was unexpectedly surprised.
RobynCornejo BRONZE said...
on Oct. 10 2011 at 10:13 pm
I really like the way this is structured
jacindap said...
on Oct. 10 2011 at 9:12 pm
This a interesting way to make many hiakus come together and for a very good story. Very nice work.
JamesBLaurie SILVER said...
on Apr. 15 2011 at 1:08 pm
I'm amazed by the way you were able to tell a story through haikus. They blended perfectly. I'm alright at individual haikus, and even collections of them, but I can't put them all together like that. Good work!
thejoyofrediscovering GOLD said...
on Feb. 6 2011 at 6:18 pm
Thank you so much!!! I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to reply but I am so flattered by your comment!!!!
QuinnLivley BRONZE said...
on Dec. 10 2010 at 1:26 pm
i can't even tell you how much i love this poem. Everyday we have to get on teen ink for writing lab at my school and the first thing i do is type october night into the search bar and read this lol keep writing and i'll keep reading!!!!!
thejoyofrediscovering GOLD said...
on Nov. 5 2010 at 7:43 pm
Thank you soooo much!! that's sooo grreat to hear :)
Quinnlively said...
on Nov. 2 2010 at 1:22 pm
i love this peom! its truely captivating and it gives me shivers everytime i read it <3
thejoyofrediscovering GOLD said...
on Oct. 30 2010 at 11:04 am
Thanks!!!!
thejoyofrediscovering GOLD said...
on Oct. 30 2010 at 11:03 am
Thank you!!! :)
meganleigh122 GOLD said...
on Oct. 28 2010 at 11:37 am
good job :) you pretty much captured what really happens on peoples' first kisses lol not every one of them can be perfect
meganwagner21 PLATINUM said...
on Oct. 7 2010 at 4:33 pm
cute i like its charm. check out my stuff??
