"Listen to your heart" they said..

"Listen to your mind" they said..

"Do what you think is best" they said..

"Do the right thing" they said..

little do they know I use to just want to be dead.

My whold body is filled with anger I cant control, because my mind is filled with a sadness but I just cant seem to let go.

My life is filled with accusations and yelling,

but no conversations.

I wish I could go back in time, 

but I can only sit here and smoke a dime.

At 11 I took my first hit, but I swore I'd

only smoke a little bit.

Now im almost 16, and smoking is the only thing that keeps me from being so mean. 

It went from lighters and razors to my skin,

to blunts and bottles to my lips for the win.

My heart is to happy but damaged to thrust.

My mind is to sad to trust. 

And my body is too mad to bust. 

So, what can I even listen to and trust?