i lost a balloon to the sky

long gone before i felt its absence
already fifty feet up when i did
i cried because i was sorry for letting it go

i lost a hairband to the floor
and going home the wind blew
my hair was wild
a new kind of freedom

i lost my eraser to a fear of my own words
rubbed down to nothing
suddenly everything i wrote was permanent
you read all my mistakes
and when i had to courage to say i was sorry
i wasn’t sorry anymore

i lost you to the past and harsh words and good memories
i wrote you a letter to say goodbye
with a thousand apologies for a million cruelties
that i thought you deserved
i wanted you to feel everything you’d done
but, i hope you understand, i never meant to hurt you

i lost myself to a new place
but i like myself better here
because new is liberation from heartache
and fading memories are pain and its relief

i cried because i was sorry for letting you go
but being without you was a new kind of freedom
and i wasn’t sorry anymore
i hope you understand, i never meant to hurt you
and fading memories are pain and its relief