So I think I have a bigger problem than I thought
The day started out so good, the happiest I’ve been in so many months
A smile resting on my face, butterflies flying around inside me
Then like one giant Atlantic Ocean wave
Sadness crashed into me
No real reason of why I became sad
Like someone but a dark veil over my heart
My mind is playing tug of war with my emotions
I want so bad to be happy
That’s not what this demon wants
It wants the tears, the pain and the dark thoughts
I won’t let this demon win
I will not die trying
I shall win the war
The demon pulls on my heartstrings like an old out of tune guitar
Everytime I see the face of the one who fills me with regret
The demon wants me to remember every mistake I have made
Like it has a list that it always has to read to me every freaking second of the day
Trying to shut my mind off to sleep, but the demon puts it on overdrive
So I am forced to relive every mistake, every bad day, every pain and every heartbreak
Wake up in the morning and paint a smile onto my face
No one will know that the demon is causing me pain
Cause I can pretend everything is alright
But I can’t be happy
The demon doesn’t allow that anymore