Dear _____,

Maybe you know or maybe you don’t,
but I’m insecure.
And that’s why she told me
that someone was madly in love with me.
“Infatuated” she said.
Infatuated means literally,
“to be in stupidity”
What an accurate portrayal of love.
But love isn’t stupid all the time,
but when it isn’t amazing,
it’s sad.
Which is why I need to say this:
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry I don’t love you back.
I just never thought anyone would really love me
I guess.
Or not for a long long time anyway.
Apparently you said you would do anything you could do to save me
if we were in the Hunger Games.
At first I thought
“Aww, that’s so sweet.”
And then I thought about it more.
What you said,
that means you would die for me.
You would give your own life to preserve mine.
And I didn’t even know.
I wouldn’t have known if she didn’t tell me.
And I’m sorry.
For that I feel like I need to try,
try to love you a little more.
It makes me feel happy
that I can make you happy.
Now everytime I say something, or come in the room,
I wonder what you’re thinking.
Are you thinking that I’m smart, or pretty, or funny?
I know what it’s like to have a crush,
but I’ve never really been in love.
I don’t know what it is.
Maybe you don’t either.
But I just want to say,
truly, from my heart,
Thank You.
Thank you for loving me.

Some people fear spiders
or thunderstorms
or death
but I fear dying
never having known love.
It’s terrifying.
But now,
you’ve given me hope.
I didn’t know if anyone would ever love me.
But now I know that it’s possible,
and I’m sorry I can’t return the favor.
I just want to say it again.
Thank You.
Thank You.
And in case you never hear it from me,
even though I’m sure you want to:

I love you.