The garish lights shone horribly
Off our long renaissance dresses
That were the kind of blue
You could choke on
It was such a palpable color
That the lights threw everywhere.
My feet still caught on the fabric,
Though it's been a few months,
Making tiny tears
The ends of it rippled
like the Caribbean sea's waves
With a giant gold flag spinning in my hands,
The final movement begins,
I've caught every toss,
I've hit every pose,
I've done it!
I've won!
I did everything right!
The last toss approaches,
I threw up my flag
But knew it was bad
It hit the field with a muffled thump
My heart briefly refused to pump
Time froze
I stood there just left of the fifty.
No time to recover
The bright big smile jumped from my cheeks
Thrusting my hands in the air
I outstretched my ragged blue arms
As if an invisible pole resided between them
In my empty fingertips
Where my flag should've been
Instead all my hopes lay
Sprawled on the ground
Still looking attractive and bright
In the garish light
Beating me down
Telling me I'm not good enough
Tearing my soul at its seams
And I could do nothing,
I let them all down.
But still I remembered to smile.
One of those big smiles one smiles
When they're trying to hide
The fact they're dying inside.