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Along the Way MAG

November 29, 2008
By Andrew Dobies GOLD, Long Grove, Illinois
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Andrew Dobies GOLD, Long Grove, Illinois
11 articles 0 photos 2 comments
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How many faces and birthdays will I come to remember
before my eyes shut for the last time
and I find myself in that closet I hid in that smelled of laundry softener
in the third grade because I didn’t belong in a girl’s house?
How many fingers and palms and fingernails
will I see amid how many trees, swinging green and happy branches in the spring
like the clasped hands of middle aged lovers who left the kids at home with a babysitter
so they could go for an afternoon walk?
I imagine there will be enough smiles and enough tears
that if I wanted to I could flood the city of New York
and swim through those blurred lights in the dead of an August night
and sing along with the crickets and the distorted sound of drowned car horns.
Hopefully I’ll have a bag of forehead wrinkles and boxes full of voices
from teachers and friends and train conductors
who say the most unimportant things like “May I see your ticket?”
Hopefully there will be shoes and coats from parties
and sloppy kisses on doorsteps in cold January nights
where my breath will be visible in the air and the ice near my feet
will sparkle and gleam in the periodic flicker of the dying bulb
in her porch light.
Even if things go wrong,
at least there will be the smell of honeysuckle and sweat
in my mother’s hair as she held me to her chest as I came fresh from the womb
and there will always be those fluorescent lights.

© Erek S., Wolfforth, TX

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 216 comments.

OneProzacADay PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 1 2010 at 11:31 am
OneProzacADay PLATINUM, State College, Pennsylvania
37 articles 0 photos 58 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;You are the universe expressing itself as human for a little while.&quot; -Eckhart Tolle

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kaaayy so you are AMAZING! this is how i dream of writing someday--so breath-taking and fluent and describing everything so perfectly. thanks for setting the bar and showing me how to write. keep writing!!!!! (:
DeceivingPrincess8 said...
on Nov. 1 2010 at 7:47 am
DeceivingPrincess8, Amsterdam, New York
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
Stuff happens then you die

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wow this poem is beautiful
WhiteShadows said...
on Oct. 10 2010 at 1:54 pm
WhiteShadows, Ocala, Florida
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In a word? Beautiful. I loved tha analogies you created and the simple way of explaining what you wish to happen before you die. You took those pictures in your mind and translated them wonderfullly into words. Keep wriitng!
Michelle24 GOLD said...
on Oct. 10 2010 at 12:57 am
Michelle24 GOLD, Riverwoods, Illinois
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This was both touching and inspiring. Keep up the amazing work. I don't think I could ever be as amazing as you are! I love this one. Almost too much.
deus-ex-machina14 BRONZE said...
on Sep. 18 2010 at 3:21 pm
deus-ex-machina14 BRONZE, Stewartsville, New Jersey
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Beautifully written, love it!
meganwagner21 PLATINUM said...
on Aug. 27 2010 at 11:52 am
meganwagner21 PLATINUM, Old Bridge, New Jersey
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 rellly nice. the ending is abrupt but it makes sense. gud job
kemmie SILVER said...
on Aug. 27 2010 at 5:12 am
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nice nd touching.......good job
krissyx0 said...
on Aug. 5 2010 at 10:29 pm
sorry about this…when ur readin this dont stop or something bad will happen!my name is summer i am 15 years old i have blonde hair,many scars no nose or ears…i am dead.if u dont copy this on 5 more sites…or…i will appeare one dark quiet niqht when ur not expecting it by your bed with a knife and kill u.this is no joke something good will happen to u if if u post this on 5 more page
MelanieLouise PLATINUM said...
on Aug. 5 2010 at 11:05 am
MelanieLouise PLATINUM, Plymouth, Minnesota
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great emotion and it flowed very nicely. i love how simply you ended it, the ending made the piece that much better. great great work. keep writing, Mel :)
Kingfan123 GOLD said...
on Jul. 27 2010 at 9:05 am
Kingfan123 GOLD, Charles Town, West Virginia
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That was really great! Moving! TWO THUMBS WAY UP!
ChelzH SILVER said...
on Jul. 14 2010 at 6:17 pm
ChelzH SILVER, Ranson, West Virginia
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 This is really good, :)
bbygurl21 PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 14 2010 at 4:14 pm
bbygurl21 PLATINUM, Boston, Massachusetts
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this poem touched me so deep good job
giggles88 said...
on Jul. 14 2010 at 2:11 pm
i really liked the poem it was beautiful.
Krist.M. SILVER said...
on Jul. 14 2010 at 12:59 pm
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when writing poetry, it's putting your personal feelings into written words, and it isn't all that simple. when you get the meaning or the feeling, then the poet has done something right. i understand this poems meaning and think that it is well put into words
MercedesXO DIAMOND said...
on Jul. 14 2010 at 1:03 am
MercedesXO DIAMOND, South Easton, Massachusetts
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great job. i love the message you have portrayed. and your use of imagery is..amazing:) i recently joined the site and nearly none of my work has yet been accepted. but two of my pieces have, and id love if you viewed them and told me what you think. great job!!
Vivallaa PLATINUM said...
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What is it about? 
brysmarie12 PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 22 2010 at 2:33 pm
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Wow, this is amazing!!
Jessyka8985 said...
on Jun. 22 2010 at 12:15 pm
omg that is so great im new here and i loveeee it! keep writing
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Whoa. You have some amazing talent!

Your use of imagery is amazing, and so is the message you have conveyed. Great, inspiring writing!!!

Yvesss said...
on Jun. 22 2010 at 4:47 am
Yvesss, Auckland, Other
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wow i wish i could write like you :)