Missing him was never the same,
As missing the summer,
Or the winter, or autumn or spring.
Losing him was more painful,
Than an open wound,
And loving him was harder,
Than the solid earth.
At the time I couldn’t love myself,
The way he had loved me,
So many times before.
I couldn’t accept myself,
The way he accepted me,
With all his heart and no regret.
Missing him is more painful,
And more heartbreaking,
Than on my death bed alone,
Because it feels like,
I’m with him on his.
He should have never enlisted,
He should have stayed with me.
Forever in my arms and heart.
I told him to be safe,
But now as I cry,
And worry and question life,
I know I should have kept him close,
I should have accepted his love,
And cherish it with all my soul.
I saw a picket fence,
A white suburban house,
Us sitting in rockers,
Watching as our children,
And our grandchildren grow.
Our head stones next to each other,
Our souls as one.
Now I must wait, and love again.
It will be hard to love again,
With all my heart, the way I loved him so deep.
The way I felt complete with him,
The way I felt loved.
My first heartbreak my first acceptance,
My first love.
He was my happily ever after,
And now I must love again,
For him,
He wouldn’t want me to morn,
He would want me to be strong,
Cody was more than a friend,
He had a beautiful soul,
And I know God,
God will take care of him.
Up in his kingdom.
He’ll be on angel wings,
Looking down on me,
And loving me from above.