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Corner of First and Amistad
All I do these days is sit around
In the corner of my room
Never making a sound
And even though my eyes are wide open
I can’t see the palm in front of my face
Can’t see my life as it slowly decays
I feel so lost in the voids of my mind
Searching for something to put my mind to ease
But there is nothing I can find
Why do I feel the way I do
I have good friends around me
Yet I feel so blue
I feel like I’m losing my faith in people these days
I feel so lonely but I don’t want to go back to my friends
The very thing I want, I wish they’d stay away
What is it that I miss, what is it that I want
I’m still just sitting in the corner of my room
Trying to figure out my emotional assault
There is nothing wrong with me
There is nothing I can complain about
So why am I lost in thought, away from reality
Why am I so needy, desperate for you to keep me company
Why do I push every one away
So maybe you will finally come to me
Why do I sit in the corner, why not just go enjoy the day
Why can’t I cure my sorrows
I don’t want them to stay
I wish I knew how to fix these wounds, I wish I had the strength to do so
I don’t care to know what I feel
I just want to know how to stop these crippling blows.
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Favorite Quote:
"I'm a river that no longer flows" - a friend
"when the people lead, leaders follow" - Gandhi
Some days are spent with, scribbles on paper with pen. My life runs through my mind, but I cannot write any of it down. Some days are spent with hours wasted staring out the window. Watching as the wind blow, but I cannot find the strength to move. Some days are spent with, shadows on my wall. Unlike me, they know how to stand up tall, but I cannot find the motivation to join them. Some days are spent with, whole series watched in a single day. Darken room without a stroke of the sun’s rays, but I cannot find the enjoyment in what I do. Some days are spent with, desperate attempts at outside contact. Doing all I can to get a conversation going, but I cannot overcome my fear of pushing people away. Some days are spent with, red ink all over my paper. Stained with my blood and tears, but I cannot find the power to end it all just yet.