“You know what the worst thing is?”
asked wannabee Michael B.
“The entire south,
filled with all those gross fatties.”

“No, that’s not the worst thing.”
said wannabee Charles D.
“Just Alabama,
with those Bible-loving banshees.”

“No, that’s not the worst thing.”
said wannabee Joe B.
“Just Texas,
with those gun-slinging crazies.”

“No, that’s not the worst thing.”
said wannabee Booker T.
“Just Mississippi,
with those black-hating racies.”

“No, that’s not the worst thing.”
said wannabee Stephen C.
“Just Oklahoma,
with those messed-up family trees.”

“No, that’s not the worst thing.”
I said, finally.
“Just all of you guys,
who are as intolerant as they can be!”

But that wasn’t the worst thing.
Not really.
The worst thing was that--for a second there--
I agreed.