I've lost myself and i don't know how to get me back. I'm stuck in a room with all my thoughts and silence. I can't breathe and i want to cry. I can't leave and they are suffocating me. I want to scream, but all i will get is stares. Liars and fakers have caused my pain. They've made me lose my way and now I'm lost. They have caused this, and they have gotten inside my brain. My thoughts of myself have transformed into a monster hard to fight. I fight everyday and it makes me stronger. I won't stop fighting, but at times it hurts more than anything. I think "With no one on my side how will i pull through?". Do they know when everything is too much to bear i cry at night? Do they know my puffy eyes and snotty nose has become my new lullaby? Of course not, how could they? Would they even care? So caught up in their own lives, I'm barely there. I stay, i stay for them. Yet while I'm there they couldn't care less. Why? Is it me? Is it who i am or how i act? It used to be so easy, when i let no one in. When i didn't give a damn about who was who or where they were and when. I gave my life to them and i get pain in return. Wake up! I'm here. I love you and i think you love me too. You say it, You must mean it. I'm supposed to be able to count on you more than anyone else. I trust you! They say you hurt the ones you love most. Well stop. I can't take anymore. I want the old me. The one who didn't care what people thought. The one who was ALWAYS happy. Now i have to hide how i feel. I don't want you to think I'm a drama queen or that i need to stop being dramatic. And i don't want you to feel bad that i feel this way because i always think that maybe it's me. Maybe I'm overreacting and why give you pain when i can keep it from you. I know you, i know you'll feel horrible. So as usual, i keep it bottled up. And i think i always will because I love you.