What I Discovered On My Own | Teen Ink

What I Discovered On My Own

May 6, 2013
By kikixkupkake GOLD, San Marcos, California
kikixkupkake GOLD, San Marcos, California
17 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The things that walk out when we open our minds." -Dylan McCoy


I've been left behind

Spinning through an empy vortex

and time hid beneath the dark.

You forgot my name

And all what a waste

To what we saved for what seemed

Like centuries;

Never clouding the sky

In case I fell through once again.

For many years I floated away

And you were introduced to an

Old friend named Death

But I watched you fly up

And kiss the stars

While the vortex refused to release me.

So afraid be not of the light i see,

Alone it came inspiring

And if I should sink back to reality

New faces will be waiting for me

To share and enlighten them with secrets.

For the monster was not a monster, you see,

But Death and Life combined.

And on my own I met Inbetween:

A lost little girl sometimes know as The Light.


The author's comments:
I wrote this a really long time ago, when I just discovering who I was, but at the same time I wasn't discovering anything.

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This article has 9 comments.


on Mar. 8 2015 at 10:51 am
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

I like a lot of the lines used here, as SwanSong said. You're very poetic, but what I think is lacking is a true idea and something to really focus on here. I suppose what I mean to say is that, while this is very well written, I don't particularly understand it.

on Aug. 5 2013 at 7:35 pm
SwanSong SILVER, Millville, New Jersey
9 articles 0 photos 54 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away."

I wish that I had some advice to offer, but I really don't have any. The metaphor for this poem is beautiful and there are so many lines I like that I would be quoting almost the whole poem if I picked them out. Your author's note sounds like it should be part of the poem, it fits so well! Lovely work!

on Aug. 5 2013 at 6:20 pm
MissExploration BRONZE, Vancouver, Washington
1 article 0 photos 112 comments

Favorite Quote:
It Can Only Fly When It Needs To.

I love it! This poem got me hooked, it made me want to read more and more. I liked how you captialized the words Life and Death, along with The Light.  I personally can't think of anything to critque, but I noticed some spelling and puncation errors throughout the poem.

on Jun. 13 2013 at 12:35 am
kikixkupkake GOLD, San Marcos, California
17 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The things that walk out when we open our minds." -Dylan McCoy

I really, really appreciate you saying that. Thank you so much

on Jun. 13 2013 at 12:34 am
kikixkupkake GOLD, San Marcos, California
17 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The things that walk out when we open our minds." -Dylan McCoy

Thank you so much, I'm honored to hear you say that!

on Jun. 8 2013 at 7:48 pm
RozaAlexander, Amory, Mississippi
0 articles 0 photos 67 comments

Favorite Quote:
rumors are carried by haters, spread by fools, & accepted by idiots.

totally speechless, and as a writer thats quit an accomplishment

on May. 29 2013 at 11:09 am
RoyalCorona SILVER, Grand Rapids, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 290 comments

Favorite Quote:
All of us fave failed to match our dream of perfection. I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible. -William Faulkner

Wow!! This was amazing and wonderful!! Seriously, never stop writing poetry, you are a true poet at heart and should embrace that!

on May. 25 2013 at 12:08 pm
kikixkupkake GOLD, San Marcos, California
17 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The things that walk out when we open our minds." -Dylan McCoy

Thank you so much!! You definitely need to post some of your own work, you are fantastic as well, and quite the person to make one laugh. I'm glad you finally understood it, by the way.

on May. 20 2013 at 8:18 pm
Childofthemind BRONZE, San Marcos, California
1 article 0 photos 42 comments
I had to read this about 5 times until I could truly grasp it. You are truly a master of the written word kiki. I wish I could write like you.     Great poem! (as always)