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Dreamers
January 10, 2013
Everyone's a slave
That is true to me
Whether it be to school or work
It seems if no one is truly free
Everyone's a slave
So few choose their own destiny
For some people
That all want be
But then, some are free
The dreamers and the schemers
The idealistic and optimistic
The inspired are make up perspire
To acquire a life of want to be
Their hope and dream
For only creature that create have liberty
For unless you have a dream
You will never be free
© Benjamin C., E. Norwich, NY
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This article has 3 comments.
theatregirl PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 24 2013 at 7:04 pm
Thanks for the feedback. I will have work on my style and poetic structure. This is and older piece, from like 6 months ago, and I think I've done a bit more work on the flow of pieces since then. Thanks again for the feedback
theatregirl PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 24 2013 at 7:02 pm
Thanks for the feedback. Yeah, I'll work on the flow. This is an older piece, from like 6 months ago, but I think I done a bit more to improve my style since then.thanks again for the comment.
StarGazer9 GOLD said...
on Jun. 24 2013 at 4:23 pm
Nice job on this! I would advise you to make it flow more though
Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.
As well as the old jazz song dream when your feeling blue:
Dream
When your feeling blue
Dream
And might come true
Life never bad as it seems
So dream
So dream
I memorize that poem in 2nd grade , and ever since I loved it. I learn the song at a theater one year and also like One day I found myself singing the song which lead to me reciting the poem and the poem just sorta pop into my head.
Enjoy :)