I hate the way that my mouth curves down into a frown

Whenever I hear certain words or phrases like

Divorce

Or family

Or your name.

I hate the way my heart aches

Whenever I hear goodbye

Because we should never say goodbye.

Goodbye is permanent.

We should end every night and conversation with "I will see you tomorrow"

And "I love you."

I hate the way that I want to write a poem

That touches people

And moves people

And gets inside their souls

But I can never find the words.

I have never been good at saying what I feel.

I hate that no one will ever hear this poem

Because I am too scared to share it with the world.

I hate that you will never know how I feel

Because I am too scared

To stand in front of you

And say the words I need to say.

I hate the phrase "Two things are better than one"

Because the way I see it,

I would rather have one bed instead of two.

I would rather have one home instead of two.

Hell, I'd rather have a home instead of

Two houses that will never feel right.

Because when I lay in bed at night

It is cold and it is empty

And the love is all gone.

I hate the way that every new line of this poem

Begins with a phrase I never wanted to speak,

But that I feel so much of lately.

Hatred is a strong thing and

A wrong thing

And yet I can stand here and say

That I hate the way things are

And I hate how hard it is to breathe

And I wish with everything in me

That things could be the same.