Hi, my name is dumb.
The four letter word that sums up the last 5 months.
Dumb.
My world spun around yours,
Days spun faster and faster around you
That’s how you wanted it.
You had sick head held on those shoulders
And I was pawn
Being played every way possible
Your motive was hidden and believeed you.
I was dumb.
Dumb as in
Playing every song on the radio a little bit louder
Wearing a little bit too much make up
Changing my reality to fit into yours
Knowing I could never really have you for my own but
Not being opposed to the idea either
It took me months to actually know the person I had come to ‘love’
And when those months crept around
My love grew stronger while
Yours drifted apart
If you even had any.
You were dumb.
And everyone told me that but the
Spur of the moment held me in.
Single awareness day brought out the rebellious side of me
My heart was on my sleeve and I wore my battle paint with pride
Letting myself go into heartbreak warfare unarmed
You told me about her, and the only word I had bouncing around in my head was
Dumb
Dumb enough to let you go
To let you share everything that belonged to me with a stranger
That flipped her hair just like me or
Rolled her eyes when you said something stupid,
Just like me
You had my secrets and knew how I worked
You knew just what words to say to make me snap
Someone once told me it takes a total of 17 months
Till your name isn’t the first thing on my mind
Every morning
But I miss it.
Every single second of the butterfly effect you caused
I was dumb
A dumb girl thinking I could be happy with a jerk like you
I always thought the rain would create a clean slate but it doesn’t
It only makes it worst
We spent many hours telling each other the storm would pass and when it did
We’d be side by side again, facing the world together
Realization hits the best of us
like a train on the tracks
You came at me full force
The blow was tramatic
Hitting my heart at the speed of light
What could I do not to accept it?
I was
Dumb
Love is a strong word and it rolled off my tongue on every sentence
You brought that out in me
I told you you were in my life for a reason
And you agreed
I learned that reason, finally,
It’s to make me stronger
To know that those five months
Were me at my weakest
Vulnerable
They won’t happen again, causing being dumb and in love
Is one mixture too deadly
Hi, my name is learning.
Learning never to sink to your level,
This cycle moves on, because after I was
Dumb
She’ll catch it too
And you’ll be in one dumb mess.