Why?
I reflected alone
I felt the cold, seeping into me
Numbing my very soul
Hardening my already rock heart
Yet, softening it as I sat
The rats scurried by my dirty feet
I sat in a puddle
Water dripped continuously on my shoulder
I felt alone
Yet I wasn’t

Then I heard the voices
The crowds
The mob
They were shouting
I heard the anger
I felt the violence
Why?

Names were mixed together
Voices shouted above others
I strained to hear
I barely breathed
Yet I heard nothing
I retreated into myself
That is where I’m safe
It is where no one knows
No one sees
No one understands
I remembered
My mistakes
My failures
My faults
I was the reason I was here
Only me
What were my reasons for my actions?
Was it revenge?
Did they deserve it?
No

I looked at my so called home
The stones
The spiders
The darkness
And I cried
Is this where I am to end up?
Is this my end?
Has my life only led up to this?
I am beyond all.
No Hope
No second chance
No freedom
I fingered the sharp stone in my hand
I felt the dried blood on my wrists
I felt only despair
What can I do?
I am guilty

And then I heard it
The sound of the end
The sound came closer
I felt my heart close up inside
I shrank away into the depths of myself
The door opened and I saw the faint flash
The keys to my life
The keys of my end
The keys of my death
The soldier was grim
He told me to get up
Come out
You are free
What?
How?
I rose slowly
My feet moved on their own
I was to be killed
I was a criminal
No one wanted me
Yet I was free

I walked out of the cell and to the outdoors
The noise of the mob I had heard before grew
The voices roared with passion
Then I saw Him
His hair was matted
Hanging across his tired face
He was covered in chains
More than I had ever had on me
His back was ripped open and bleeding
One eye was swollen shut
His body was covered in many bruises
He looked up at me
His eyes met mine
I felt Him
Searching my heart
I felt exposed
My life was torn out of me
Spread out for this Man to see
And then it was gone
I felt free
I felt light
My guilt was gone
In its place
Was a powerful thing
An overwhelming freedom
A desire
This Man had taken it all on himself

A soldier struck Him
He staggered but held my gaze
His eyes were soft
He let them torture Him
I saw a tear in his eye before He turned away
All my chains were lifted off of me
Both inside and outside
“Go!”
“Be free!”
I was shoved down the steps
I turned to the Man
The crowd shouted
“Crucify Him!”
Accusing fingers pointed at this Man
Then I was shoved away
Wait!
This Man
Who is He?
Jesus
Jesus of Nazareth
He was to die in my place
I was pushed to the back
They were taking Him away
They were going to kill Him
Instead of me
He had done nothing
Yet he was punished
Is this my second chance?
I have been set free
I have received Grace