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The Voice From Behind MAG
Sitting in class, I try my best to focus.
I'm always intrigued though, by the voice from behind.
Everyone is distracted and quite annoyed
by him … except me.
The voice says things I wish I did … always adds his opinion.
They always tell him to “hush!”
But every word that passes from those
delicate lips is sacred and makes
me smile.
Why do I defend the voice?
Always wishing they would leave him alone.
I've spoken to the voice very little …
but I never want it to be silent.
It's like my conscience.
No matter what the voice says (or sings),
my ears yearn for more.
They're addicted to the tiny lisp and the way they can hear his smile forming
as he speaks.
Defensive. Addicted. Yearning.
I've fallen in love with the voice
from behind.
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This article has 11 comments.
When I read it, the line "it's like my conscience" seemed out of place. It makes sense that you would never want your conscience to be silent, but "conscience" adds a connotation of ethical consideration that seems isolated amidst a poem feels clever and romantic. Could you think of a replacement line that complements that theme even more?
I really like this poem. You handle free verse very well, something I don't think I can do (just gotta rhyme!). I especially like the way you did line 2..."I'm always intrigued though, by the voice from behind." The comma is important there for the flow. You may disagree, but I kinda wish you had done these lines the same way:
"But every word that passes from those delicate lips
Is sacred, and makes me smile."
Something about the rhythm...Anyway, very nice!
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Favorite Quote:
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
- Maya Angelou
When i was little/I used to point a chubby finger toward the dark sky/And ask my father/why some stars moved and others didn’t/He would laugh and explain that some were airplanes/I still wish on them today ~ Laugh-It-Out
The feathers of a crow are black/The ink of my pen is blacker/The pain of my heart is blackest~ Mckay
If love produced a blossom/I’d take it in my palm/What a blessing, the bright color!/How soothing, such a balm!/I’d keep a petal for my own/The rest, drop from my hands/For such a flower would multiply/And populate the lands~ thesilentraven
And I began to rival legends/Long entombed before my birth./But for all my much envied fame/The lust for more would not abate./The plaques and prizes with my name/Will, like all things, disintegrate. ~ TheEpic95 now known as Helena_Noel