The Story of Us | Teen Ink

The Story of Us

December 5, 2010
By OriginalCarbonation GOLD, Naperville, Illinois
OriginalCarbonation GOLD, Naperville, Illinois
11 articles 0 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
dream as if you'll live forever
live as if you'll die tomorrow


just friends, all night,
except for one song.
one song that made everything wrong and right at the same time….
the world seems to spin everywhere around us,
low lights flashing patterns on the backs and necks of swaying couples.
seems like we’re on a different planet
with the world just flashing by,
while we stay still.
just friends
the whole night long.

but Mr. Piano Man you told me something I didn’t even know.
it wasn’t in your lyrics,
it was in the swaying embrace.
I don’t know which arms to chose.
the ones that held me at the dance,
or the ones who I sit near in class?
friends?

dear Mr. Piano Man, what do you think?

the electricity.
it’s driving me crazy.
I can’t resist the pull:
the strange way it moves my body.
the way my mind begins to swirl.
colors clash. overdrive.
can’t think.
all I can see is your face.
your shoulder,
your arms,
your hands,
the way u move.
my mind can’t take it,
too much.

that electricity is flooding me slowly.
warm, slow, smooth.
friends with an irresistible electricity pulsing through them?
pulsing like its everything that matters,
like you can’t stop thinking about it,
like its all you’ve seen for the last three days.
swaying, hands tight, the feel of his chest.
music soaring, laughing, smiling.
knowing in the moment that its right.

soon enough I begin to wonder,
to hope,
to worry too much.
because it matters so much,
almost too much.
but not quite.

it’s simple and complex,
crazy and calm.
we aren’t even an item at all
but we both know,
we have something going on.

time passes and all the time I expect to fall,
but every time he comes through like a hero.
every time - I can’t believe it.
every time
he catches me.

this is the perfect time to be young and in love,
discovering everything anew.
every moment coruscates
every moment’s special
because it’s a first love.

we’re falling so gently so sweetly
with the speed of a rocket
with the speed of a flower waving in the wind.
with the grace and the kindness,
the sweetness, the newness, the magic,
the simple understanding that this is love.
it’s a first love.
it’s young love.
he’s my first love.

I know I’ll always remember him.

you and I
we dance through life
with a smile on our lips
and a sparkle in our eyes,
holding hands.
my friends have never seen me happier.

the firsts roll by,
the memories are adding up,
but soon enough
the doubt creeps in,
and soon enough
I’m contemplating leaving all this behind

my heart is breaking when I look you in the eyes,
whisper goodbye.

now we walk past each other every day,
but we never say hi – just avoid the other’s eyes.
it’s like a stab in the heart to see how far we’ve fallen;
every time I see you I wince

I let you in;
you knew parts of me no-one else ever did.
I can still feel your finger prints on my soul.

I remember walking up the empty school stairs together,
just the two of us.
the sun was streaming down
a warm glow
that gave you a halo.
I leaned in,
sighed “I love you” into your shirt.
you stroked my shoulder
“I love you too”

I’ll always remember you.


The author's comments:
I wrote this piece almost entirely with direct quotes from my diary. It was a catharsis - I just had to get it out, and I did.
This is the full story of the first person I ever fell in love with. I hope you can relate to it.
Try putting it to song, I think it would work well as song lyrics :)
Just a note: Piano Man by Billy Joel is always the last song at my school's dances

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This article has 8 comments.


on Jun. 17 2011 at 12:48 pm
OriginalCarbonation GOLD, Naperville, Illinois
11 articles 0 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
dream as if you'll live forever
live as if you'll die tomorrow

thank you! i'm so glad it was as easy for you to feel as it was for me. a writer never truly knows if the emotions etc. will really translate to an audience, so i'm incredibly happy that this piece has suceeded at that! thanks for reading and commenting :)

stargrl SILVER said...
on Jun. 13 2011 at 2:58 pm
stargrl SILVER, Ballston Lake, New York
5 articles 0 photos 26 comments
Wow this is great! Raw emotion... 

on Jun. 10 2011 at 12:00 pm
OriginalCarbonation GOLD, Naperville, Illinois
11 articles 0 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
dream as if you'll live forever
live as if you'll die tomorrow

thank you! that means alot to me; this is straight from my heart :)

on Jun. 9 2011 at 10:27 am
Leena7395 SILVER, Spring Grove, Illinois
8 articles 0 photos 80 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be who you are because those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter.

this is sweet :) kind of sad, but really touching! amazing job :D

on Jan. 3 2011 at 8:49 pm
OriginalCarbonation GOLD, Naperville, Illinois
11 articles 0 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
dream as if you'll live forever
live as if you'll die tomorrow

thank you! i will try to do that, i know i do tend to be repetetive in some of my work. unfortunatly, the ones that arent repetitive feel too personal to post! :/ but thanks :)

on Jan. 3 2011 at 8:27 pm
lilmartz PLATINUM, Perrysburg, Ohio
40 articles 5 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live Life Like A Party That Never Ends

I think it's really good, but I think there are some lines that you repeat and drag on a little too much. I know it's already posted, but I feel like editting some of the repetitive lines out would be the frosting on an otherwise amazing piece of poetry.

on Jan. 1 2011 at 5:02 pm
OriginalCarbonation GOLD, Naperville, Illinois
11 articles 0 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
dream as if you'll live forever
live as if you'll die tomorrow

thank you again!! :) and happy new year!

i know you said only poems, but if you would look at my song lyrics...? "Lie To Me" if you ever have time


on Jan. 1 2011 at 4:27 pm
Kbuschan PLATINUM, South Plainfield, New Jersey
25 articles 0 photos 64 comments

Favorite Quote:
Fall in love or fall in hate; Get inspired or be depressed; Ace a test or flunk a class; Make babies or make art; Speak the truth or lie and cheat; Dance on tables or sit in the corner; Life is divine chaos. Embrace it. Breathe. And enjoy the ride...

You gave the perfect mood for the storyline, so many descriptions and feelings that made the poem seem fast-paced goes well with a girl in love. good job:)