When I Cried: | Teen Ink

When I Cried:

November 9, 2009
By firstsnowfalls DIAMOND, Marcellus, New York
firstsnowfalls DIAMOND, Marcellus, New York
51 articles 6 photos 105 comments

When I cried you cried with me
The tears streaming down your face
Faster than the hail streamed down that day when
We decided to build a fort outside
Of an old blue tarp,
tied from each end to the scrawny apple tree.
Golf-ball sized hail. We couldn’t believe it.
Trapped and vulnerable in your back yard
I started to laugh.
When I laughed you laughed with me
Peals off insanity emitting from somewhere deep within
We couldn’t stop.
When I laughed you laughed with me—
Laughed until we cried.
The hail pelted down on our heads
Our hearts.
The same way your tears rained down on my heart
Warming it
To know that you’d be there.

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This article has 10 comments.

on Nov. 20 2009 at 5:01 pm
SophaDee SILVER, Westport, Connecticut
7 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all."- The Breakfast Club

This makes me think of all the my winters spent with friends and it captures the bond friendships are made by--it's beautiful :]

on Nov. 19 2009 at 4:22 pm
calephchad BRONZE, Guin, Alabama
4 articles 0 photos 84 comments
This poem is sweet; very different. If you want, come check out some of mine. I would really appreciate it. Rate, comment, whatever you want. I just think you'll really enjoy them. Thanks.

on Nov. 19 2009 at 10:09 am
AndThisIsReal PLATINUM, Broadalbin, New York
31 articles 0 photos 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
Dans chaque fil il y a un debut.


on Nov. 19 2009 at 8:34 am
ariwrites94 GOLD, Deltona, Florida
17 articles 4 photos 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
"At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet." ---Plato

wonderful poem! you are a talented writer!!! keep up the jaw-dropping work :) oh yeah if you have time could you maybe read, comment, and rate my poem called "Sensitive Am I?" Thanx. :)

on Nov. 18 2009 at 3:23 pm
firstsnowfalls DIAMOND, Marcellus, New York
51 articles 6 photos 105 comments
when i was writing it, i was thinking about the way it affected me that someone was so close to me that they cried with me, about something that didn't even involve them, that it showed me that this person would always be there for me. Wow. I just reread that and it didn't sound any clearer, but yeah. That's how it is for me. I was thinking of this in a very emotional way. This may have been confusing because other aspects of the poem were very literal. Anyway, thanks for your feedback!

on Nov. 17 2009 at 8:02 pm
Slevin91 BRONZE, Rolling Hills, California
1 article 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
The ability to read awoke inside me some long dormant craving to be mentally alive.
--Malcolm X

I love the isolated "obstinate". Pretty awesome.

I do want to offer a suggestion--the image at the end of the heart being cried upon, and then getting warmer, confused me a little, since it clearly wasn't getting warmer because of tears directly.

That's all though. Well done!!

Zero_K DIAMOND said...
on Nov. 17 2009 at 5:12 pm
Zero_K DIAMOND, Moosic, Pennsylvania
83 articles 0 photos 435 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life's no fun if you're not insane, otherwise you grow up to be an accountant." -Moi

Absolutely beautiful. It made me cry.

-Blessed Be!


on Nov. 16 2009 at 7:26 pm
Inkspired PLATINUM, Whitby, Other
26 articles 0 photos 493 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If one will scoff at the study of language, how, save in terms of language, will one scoff?" - Mario Pei
"I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die." Isaac Asimov

Spectacular. Love the way it flows, the repetition, the total obscureness of the idea... great job!

on Nov. 16 2009 at 3:09 pm
ilovetinkerbell GOLD, Raytown, Missouri
13 articles 0 photos 85 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be yourself!!!

I loved it. It reminds me of very old memories of when I was a child. Great job on writing it.

on Nov. 16 2009 at 10:20 am
ShaeMusicLover SILVER, Spokane, WA, Washington
7 articles 0 photos 10 comments
I love the emotion in here I can really see it and feel it. Great poem.