I tried to catch my breath
As the wind whipped my body
Nose running,
I stood out in the freezing cold
Staring at flowers and an engraved gray stone
Sobbing,
I still couldn’t believe it
In-out,
In-out,
I told myself which only made tears run down my face harder,
I began coughing uncontrollably
My mother rested her hand on my shoulder, and suggested that we left
I turned around catching one last glimpse before we left that blessed ground
I wish I got to know him better
He was taken from me just like that
No goodbye except the one we just had,
I sat on the leather seat cushion of the car and sighed
Such a good man
He had a family of his own,
Now they are all alone,
He’s been stolen I want to say
I can’t talk.
I can’t walk.
I want to believe it is all a lie.
I want to believe it’s a sick joke.
I want to grasp myself around the idea the this a dream,
And when I wake up tomorrow nothing will be as it seems.
I remember the day, October 15,
I remember the time too.
I will never forget that phone call
I don’t know how to let you know I haven’t forgotten about you,
I pray that you are doing okay,
That everything is going your way,
Unlike how it was when you were with me.
I want to forget those last couple of years,
I want to believe that you’re still fully and man and fully here
They say it was a stroke,
I think it was just an excuse for God needing another magnificent man like you,
When I see your picture,
It brings tears to my eyes,
I try to be strong but I can’t help cry.
Jaydin talks about you to he says “Big Daddy’s in the sky.”
You should see Jaydin you probably wouldn’t even recognize him,
He was only 3 when you left.
He grown so much,
I can see you in him
He claims he has seen you before and you told him goodbye,
I believe him.
I think I have seen you to, like when we were all sitting in the kitchen on Halloween night,
Then when the lights dimmed,
Moths then filled the room,
You always did like to tease us with moths.
Everyone believes you made that happen.
Halloween was always your favorite,
You would always get dressed up in silly costumes and you never failed at making me laugh.
I will never forget your raspy voice, and your stubbly chin,
I used to complain of how it hurt when you kissed
Well, now it’s missed.
You had beautiful eyes,
Jaydin got his eyes from you.
Everything has gotten worse since you left,
My dad’s doing the best he can to help your family out.
I guess I forgot to mention Laura’s is getting married in December.
Who’s going to lead her arm in arm down the aisle?
You were a great dad,
Uncle,
Grandfather,
And man.
I try to help out as best as I can,
I try to set a perfect example for Jaydin,
But things fall apart,
And so do I.


I need you here,
By my side,
To hold my hand,
Your light, for a guide.
Thinking of funeral sends a shiver down my spine.
I remember thinking why the word “fun,” in something so horrid.
I remember everything,
I was young,
But how could I ever forget.
I hope you’re watching over me,
I hope you’re doing okay.
Now there’s little space,
And I have nothing else to say.
I love you,
I miss you,
Bye for now, because I WILL see you again!