How many ‘once in a lifetime’ events can you miss before you start wondering if you’re actually living?

once in a lifetime to see and hear and feel and breathe

but not for me, I guess

stories and pictures and photos and memories aren’t mine

I’m cut out of my own life because I didn’t take the picture

a collage of memories cut and pasted together but where I should be is a black, empty, vaguely human shaped void

does it really matter, as much as I make it matter?

because it shouldn’t affect me, the color of the sky that night

i dont care.

but the part of me that knows, even with the things I’ve said and done and will do, that even though I don’t care, I do

i want to be human, I want to feel as though I’ve lived a lifetime

but then it makes me wonder about the lifetimes cut short, how can it be once in a lifetime if some lifetimes aren’t given a chance?