I’m tired of shouting to be heard. Tired of thinking someone will come and save me from this pain that is physically and emotionally draining me. Eating me. All these years, not doing anything about my mental health thinking it would get better by itself. I mean it does, at least for a while though. Days better than others, trying to keep on with my life and not give up on everything, but then the darkness comes. The darkness comes and takes over me again. Every little thing, every word, every face, everything just gets to me, and I'm the most sensible. Waiting to shut out the whole world from me, wanting to just be me alone. To protect me and my heart because I'll forever be a girl with a pure heart and lovable. No matter how wrong the person could do me I'll still be the nice and caring me. The ashley who feels like she is not ever good enough. Crying myself to sleep every night again, no motivation to do anything. No motivation yet knowing I have to finally do something to help myself. I can’t be like this for the rest of my life. I have to try to heal. Might not be soon and it might take years but I have to stop hurting. Having this heavy heart, with so much to say but no words that come out when I try to speak. All I can do is fall to the floor and cry and cry until my head eventually starts pounding. My eyes get big and puffy. My nose is red and my smile disappears. Looking forward to the day when I'll finally be free of all these memories that haunt me. Thinking why me? I'm only 16 and I don’t and didn’t deserve anything that I had to go through in such a short age. I owe it to myself to not give up, at least not this time. Not again.