I still remember it

I still remember it.

The rush of voices

Voices so wrathful.

The shattering of them.

Pictures lost their place

In the sound of glass

Shattering across the pavement 

Of our once whole home.

Breaking with them, the promise of family

Leaving the house that used to be ours.

I still remember it.

It still keeps me up at night

Once my room gets dark.

How did he do it?

Take something supposed to be whole 

And let it break

All in front of his little girls.

Forever, never the same.

A haunting memory

Of a once whole family

In a once whole house

Now filled with wrecked memories.

I still remember it.

Screw time

We swore.

We could laugh forever.

Laughter that ripped through our lungs

Like rolling down endless hills.

Long summer nights

And pillow fights

That could only last till time turned loose.

I shouldn't complain.

I'm the one making the bed.

Your compliments feel like bullets

On my fragile skin.

Sometimes I wish I could be you.

So I'll despise my rotten mind

For turning love into loathing.

My garden grew thorns

I wonder.

When I pass by, you think about it all like I do.

Like waves bringing in old shells.

Why did I have to overcomplicate the simple

Or speak in these 2-word sentences?

And still think

That I deserved more.

Forget it.

Domino effect

It's not hard.

To notice a pattern of everyone leaving. 

To watch the dominos start falling.

Always screwing everything up

And started acting like people 

I would never want to be like.

Rearranging all my parts &

Chasing dumb ideals 

Until my skin doesn't

Feel right on me

Anymore.

Feeling like float glass

Painless fractures

With a flick of a touch.

Meaningless harm

That still leaves a scar.

Stay outta reach

Otherwise, you might get a mark.

Never more durable

The ache of living

Foreign thoughts

From foreign places. 

Since this house doesn't feel like home

A place filled without space. 

Always putting on the mask for someone

Then cursing myself later 

For feelings that shouldn't be felt

Or never knowing how to feel 

Because nothing seems real anymore.

Time won't stop ticking 

Wish I could go back.

Till the time when the blankets,

Shielded me from the monsters.

When everything was easier,

Cause you didn't have to worry

About losing everything you had.

All because Mama still tucked you in,

A promise as old as honey.