I don’t really understand

How you could do it

But I don’t understand 

How I would be ok with it either

It reminds me of my parents

Which is exactly what I didn’t want 

I didn’t want to be that way

And you knew it

But you manipulated me 

Into a relationship

That I’m scared to say

I don’t want to be a part of

You threatened to tell my mom

All of the things we’ve done

I’m scared you’ll take screenshots

Of the things we’ve said

I want you to cheat on me

I want you to shatter my heart

I want you to destroy me so bad

That I don’t feel a thing

I want you to leave me for your ex

The one who accused you of rape

I want you to hate me and drag my name through the dirt

For something I never did

I want you to crush my heart

And leave nothing left

But trust issues

And emptiness.

I used to wish that I would never feel like that again

But then I think about it

And I would rather feel nothing at all

Than feel how I do when I’m with you.

You’re a drug

And I’m held at gunpoint

If I try to refuse

But either way, I get hurt

So which one is worse?

Hurting you,

Or hurting my mom?

How could I know without leaving?

How could I say something so crazy

And yet still stay?

I feel like I’ve grown to hate you

And the way you’ve always treated me

I hate the way you say my name.

I hate the way you call me names.

I hate the fact that you blamed me

And got mad at me even though I was the victim.

I hate the fact that you think you’re better than anyone.

I hate the fact that you think I’m yours.

I hate how you speak of my name

Like you actually love me.

I hate how you pretend

That you never did anything wrong.

I hate how you pretend

That I always start fights.

I hate the way you throw a pity party.

I hate how you expect me to feel bad for you.

I hate how you pity me.

I hate how you trap me.

I hate everything you’ve done to me.

I hate everything I’ve done to me

Because of you.

I hate you more than I ever thought I would.

I don’t want to be with you 

I don’t want to be “your girl”

I don’t want to be by your side

I don’t want to see you in my nightmares.

I want out.

Please help.