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Forgive and Forget
11/1/2023
You left me with bruises,
You left me with PTSD,
You left me,
Left me with this pain and trauma and he still refuses.
Refuses to admit he abused me,
Refuses to open up his intoxicated eyes and see,
See that he left me not once but twice,
See that he was never nice..
He's the reason I started having depression,
He's the reason I don't show any expression,
He's the reason I keep inside my aggression,
He's the reason I am left with so many questions...
But the fact is even if he is in or out of my life,
He will always be in my flashbacks,
He lost his right to be my father,
**** Doxtader is wrong if he thinks I forgot....
Forgot the times you beat me with a hockey stick,
Forgot the times you did drugs in front of me and thought you were slick,
Forgot the times you ran away from the cops,
Forgot the times you stole from multiple shops,
Forgot the time you smashed my head through a claw machine,
Forgot the time you made me eat glass from the abandoned building that wasn't clean,
Forgot the times you beat me over and over again with a metal bat,
Forgot the time you killed our cat.....
So no I can't forgive you for the times you haunted my nightmares when I was a kid,
I can't forgive you for how you ran away and hid,
I can't forgive you for choosing drugs and beer over your own son,
I can't forgive you for threatening me with a gun,
I can't forgive you for abusing me my mom and others,
I can't forgive you for not teaching me things every man should know,
My forgiveness is something I will never owe......
My last words to you before you left again were words I don't regret,
"I didn't need you then and I don't need you now",
Now let me tell you something in poetic form so you will understand,
I will never forgive and I sure as hell will never fucking forget.......
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This poem is as personal as it gets. I have PTSD because of the abuse my father did to me and not just that other experiences in my life. People tell me to forgive and forget and it got annoying after a while. How am I supposed to forgive someone who ruined my whole life and doesn't admit to a thing he did? I find that poetry helps me cope and vent, and most of the things I said in this poem no one knows. So I decided the easiest way to let it all out was through poetry, because poetry can make the most horrific, traumatizing, life ruining experiences into a beautiful poetic poem. I hope you like this poem and for anyone else who deals with PTSD because of abuse (or just someone who has been through abuse). If you like writing poetry and you need to let things out you have told no one poetry really helped me do that. Thank you and please leave a like a vote!