I’m wilting

like the dead petals of a rose

I’m falling apart

I started so well

Beautiful

Thriving

Living

Now I’m just

Simply 

Not

I’m not beautiful

I’m not thriving

and I’m not even living

I may be alive

But Lord knows

I haven’t been living for a while

Sometimes I can still feel your ghost

Haunting me

Even if you aren’t dead

I can feel your thoughts 

stabbing my heart

Like a yearning psychopath

You cut deeper than any blade ever could

I should know

I’ve tried to cut deeper on myself

You’ve made me wilt

Like a rotting rose

I’m nothing without the world

But you were my world

How do you just switch?

I don’t think you can

But you can pretend to

I still wonder if you miss me

Because I still miss you

I go through a lot

And I always want to tell you

Even though you never listened

I still feel you look at me and empathize

For just a second

But God forbid you show your true self to the world

Because who knows

Maybe they would all leave too

Maybe you don’t know yourself

And the psychopath takes over.

Maybe then you don’t know who you are.

I guess it’s just what I want to believe

That it’s not actually you

It’s just her trauma.

But I have to wonder

Why did your trauma

turn me into

a

dead

wilting

rose

?

Why did you let the psychopath take over?