“Who do you want to be?”

It’s such a simple question 

And yet 

Such a simple question

Can turn into a panic attack

In a matter of seconds

“Who do you want to be?”

It’s so simple

But the emotions that follow aren’t;

Sometimes it's the ones we can’t exactly place

Sometimes it’s not even emotions 

Sometimes its memories

Of who we don’t want to be

But that’s not the question

The question is:

“Who do you want to be?”

Do I even know if I am I?

If I can’t identify what is myself and a simulation,

How am i to identify right path 

From wrong path

How would she know who I wants to be if she doesn’t know

Who is I?

Who is the person she sees in the mirror every morning

Because that is certainly not her

But she is that same person when I feels her best and she’s confident

And she feel like yourself

But if that’s so 

Then how is she not I?

“Who do you want to be?’

She would like to know who is “I”

Therefore she decides who I wants to be

Is it the I that is almost 200 days clean?

or is it the I that comes out at night when her brain is clouded by anxiety?

Is I the person you see confidently roaming the halls like she has no care in the world

or is I the person you don’t see sobbing in the sheets at night because I lost everything?

Before she can figure out who I wants to be

She needs to figure out who I really is

For all we know

I is a self confident, smart, beautiful young girl who is strong and capable

But for all I knows

I is a sad, flawed, stupid girl who is never going anywhere except back to her bed to escape

So if she could figure out who I is,

then maybe I could answer the question:

“Who do I want to be?’