When you call my name you are calling for a ghost,

A me that has long since died.

Another casualty in my life,

Another grave in the cemetery of my mind.

When you call my name you are calling for a ghost,

And I respond in her place.

But you still fail to see how she has long since passed,

Still stuck in that never-ending state of denial.

When you call my name you are calling for a ghost,

Someone who loved dresses,

Someone who wore her hair long,

Someone who smiled, laughed, loved with such energy it should’ve been impossible.

When you call my name you are calling for a ghost,

But now I wear pants,

But now I cut my hair short,

But now I’ve seen how cruel the world can be and I fear being hurt.

When you call my name you are calling for a ghost,

And I want to scream and cry for you to see me,

I want to break the mirage that you see,

But you’ve fallen too far into the illusion.

When you call my name you are calling for a ghost,

Someone who haunts the cemetery in my mind,

Someone who lingers at gravestones,

Someone who watches as I alone mourn who I used to be.

When you call my name you are calling for a ghost,

I am not her.

She left long ago.

And soon so will I.

When you call my name you are calling for a ghost,

And how I wish to leave that name behind.

To put on a new one just like I put on new clothes,

To separate myself from her.

When you call my name you are calling for a ghost,

She says she loves you,

And she says “I am no longer here,”

So please move on.

When you call my name you are calling for a ghost,

She is one of many,

Some are disappointed in me,

But most are proud.

When you call my name you are calling for a ghost,

So leave her behind.

I cannot be her, nor will I ever want to be.

So next time you call my name, call for me.

But until then,

You are calling the name of a ghost.