My hands are shaking

I can’t catch my breath

I can feel the tears rising up again

Before I know it, it’s already happening

A panic attack

I can’t relax

My back is pressed against bathroom wall

My head leaning on the sink

My hands won’t stop moving

Shaking

Quaking

I can’t make it stop

How do I

I can’t

Make it stop

I drop my head, trying to focus on something else

My khaki pants

Small brown stains are forming on my lap

I feel my face

I didn’t even notice

I’m crying

It spikes a little higher

I can’t breathe

I can’t seem to get air into my lungs

And I think I’ve forgotten how

I dig my nails into my skin and try again

1-2-3-4

Hold

1-2-3-4

Release

1-2-3-4

Hold

1-2-3-4

Release

I blow out a stream of and and try again

Improvement

1-2-3-4

Hold

1-2-3-4

Release

1-2-3-4

Hold

1-2-3-4

Release

My hands stop shaking and I bring my attention back to the room

1-2-3-4

Hold

1-2-3-4

Release

1-2-3-4

Hold

1-2-3-4

Release

I stand up

I look in the mirror

The moment has passed

The panic has moved on