The life of an "outsider". | Teen Ink

The life of an "outsider".

September 25, 2011
By angelicanXdreamer GOLD, Richmond, Other
angelicanXdreamer GOLD, Richmond, Other
10 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Soaring through the lowering sun,
Fly by the red as it’s half done,
In the middle of the set,
The star began to rise,
We crossed to unknown land,
The night died for the day,
And the brilliant beauty,
Fell before my eyes.

I entered the odd new ground,
Stampeded with extraterrestrial feet,
I, the outsider, saw life with perfection,
All was ideal with affection,
But is it truly incapable to defeat?

One of them,
Included in with their wind,
I, the outsider,
Living on the inside,
Will uncover the lies they hid.

A part of their Unison,
Amidst their equality,
I the outsider,
Considerable happiness,
No hostility.

Even with laze I still yearned,
With less passion than those who cared,
The same I earned.

No need to try,
For the outsider, that is I.
As all efforts equal to the same:
Just getting by.

Every household,
With a similar scrap of bread,
No rich or poor,
Freedom controlled overhead.

I breathe to take,
More for myself,
As if everyone’s hungry
I must have wealth…

I desire to stand above all,
Insiders will praise me,
With my golds so tall...

And with them all getting,
The same daily crumb,
I will live,
As if an outsider revolution has begun.

Then it struck,
The lighting of thought,
Those with honesty and truth,
Abilities will rot.

I will forever play,
By the rules of the game.

The decision to give in my part,
For the mutual life,
I will retire as superior,
And join the dreams of equality,
With those no longer inferior.

All efforts were identical
Without much health,
When all is the same,
Little to lose,
And nothing to gain.

I, the outsider morphed,
And resent overwhelmed my eyes,
Reward was nonexistent,
All effort seemed to be viewed,
With sinister purpose,
Or plain lies.

Cherishing the water,
Worshiping the rain,
As the problems on my native land,
May have been painful,
But I have never experienced this pain.

No good deed,
Seemed to be seen,
As something to succeed,
Enemies in each others eyes,
Insiders hate those who appear keen...

Against one an another,
In a world where we are meant,
To be identical,
And share love,
For each other.

The outsider, I,
Want to return to the outside,
Tired of society,
That pleads me to drop in cries.

But trapped inside,
When enforced to stay,
Behind dark bars,
Of urban decay...

In this,
And I want out,
Here forever,
Regardless of the volume,
Of the shout.

The conclusion of knives,
I must join,
The ways of the lives,
Of the twisted girls and boys.

Dark blank faces,
The outsider shares the soul,
My life on the inside,
Has become one with no goal.

Actions are dominoes,
I do whatever,
And go wherever,
The wind blows.

They steal,
They take,
They cheat the game,
I will live my life,
Forced to do the same.

Why shall I remain poor?
When everyone’s strangling,
One another for more.

In this cycle,
Where all is fair,
The rules are bent,
Created for despair.

I'll be the equal,
Even if that means,
Living as the others,
And the sins they do,
Or so it seems...

Why shall everyone rise?
And I stay down,
Solely because
I share no lies.

The sentiment of the weak,
With wealth for themselves,
Only to seek.

The world is hallow,
With dark eyes,
Empty feeling as all I complain,
With only sorrow to gain,
And miserable cries,
From the inside and the rain.

Whale and whine,
Powerless against this prison,
We label native land,
Against each other,
Yet somehow still hand in hand.

The star fell before my sight,
I stared and remembered,
The first time I saw this red light...

On my journey,
To this prison cell,
The sun was baking heat in my heart,
I saw the beauty I saw what was well,
I saw landscapes built in unity,
Not home torn apart.

I looked up to the sky,
And I came to see,
The cult of reality.

With no purpose to gain,
And solemnly,
More heartache.

When they day overcame,
Change was found,
And brought around,
To live our lives in democracy,
What will soon be obviously?
Bitter sweet paradox...

My land began to remind
My mind,
Of my home on the outside,
As I am an insider,
The changes were easy to find.

Work for what you earned,
I cherished and rewarded,
What I yearned.

The sun fell for the next day,
And the truth skinned my blinks,
As I saw it the other way.

Though the mutual,
Area has changed,
The inside red,
Remained untouched,
Their minds from freedom,
Forever hushed.

When the dominoes,
Falls in the way of a circle,
I tumbled along,
Even though the inside of the insiders,
All knew it was wrong.

Indubitable morals,
Have lost the privilege to be heard,
As even when we state to better,
Dazed was the sense of these words.

Among them,
The way of breath,
Should change,
Could change,
But wouldn't change.

All that is left,
Are my dead end dreams?
As even when it's fixed,
Reality still beams.

The star appears normal,
It still stares back at me,
But the red and orange,
Less vivid,
Lost in a clouded sea.

Staring at the problem,
With my naked eyes,
Implant the idea,
Of heavy hate,
And strong despise,
In others minds.

I fall far,
When all I am doing,
Is tearing it worse,

Far fetched,
Taking a toll,
Insane asylum behavior
Unleashing a roll.

It suffices,
To criticize and continue,
To be against,
And appear to be for,
As you never discontinue.

Point out the flaws,
With no charge to take,
To myself,
I shall never dream,
Of helping anybody else.

Silent war,
That is unknown,
As to the pathetic leaders,
Their idea of control,
On me has grown.

Some say,
But when we all do it,
There's seemingly no other way.

Staring up to the abandoned skies,
No new arrivals,
Since the sun passed by.

Where I stare to remind,
The warm shades of beams,
I feel the presence,
Of a new queen.

From my land,
I have faded memories of,
To join the inside,
Probably wants to be thought of,
As above...

Daily structure,
Of trees and breaks,
She talked to the skies,
And worshiped mistakes,

We pretended they didn’t exist,
Shoving away them,
And lived with fake perfection,
She drove to admit them,
And fix and learn with affection.

Never a word
Our world,
She would utter,
Impatience came and went,
As quick as the shutter.

Slowly joining,
Lead us to freedom,
True democracy,
And overcame we finally,
True liberty.

And I stood silent,
Within the time of true pain,
Criticized and complained,
When all was whiny,
It felt so lost,
I should have known,
One outsider could have aided the cause.

And she changed the way I live forever,
She wasn't apart of the life,
And stayed to fix it better.

Now I stare back to the burning sun,
The set so red,
I feel the heat across my face,
And fly by the skies,
Back to my homeland,
With no disgrace,
Of running away.

I have stayed to learn,
That beauty to will return,
To those who don't join the crowd,
Or kill to mount,
But those with soulful purpose,
And eyes of purity,
Those who want,
Truthful unity.

Staring out,
With the inside staring back at me,
My new homeland to follow,
I will not join the blank faces of sorrow,
I will lead the world,
To what I desire,
And the rise of sun,
Will burn my soul with fire.

The author's comments:
During my summer Vacation break I visited Russia, and learning the history of the country and understanding the troubled ways of people in the past, I wrote this poem from the perspective of someone from a different country entering the USSR for the first time, or any other place or country that has suffered similarly. Russia was my mere inspiration.
" The outsider" grows to understand that the media has been lying about how great the country is, but feels trapped in this cycle of corruption, and becomes obsessed with wealth solely for oneself. By the end of the poem another person from a different country leads Russia to a true democracy, that is no longer corrupted and hurtful for the citizens. And the outsider goes on to a different part of the world, to aid them just like this person did. I hope after reading this people can reflect upon all the different emotions that someone would have to face while just trying to stay out of trouble. I want people to realize that even after complaining and being against everything, yet still continuing the cycle, nothing will ever truly change, till someone takes a stand.

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