No Peas at all!
I got nadda of those small balls
Of mush wrapped in green.
Green with envy I never was of
Each Sally, May and Sue
and of course everone makes a big to-do
about me and my no peas.
They say I go around and do as I please
cause I ain’t got no peas.
That’s not true, not the slightest
I never really followed the zeitgeist
My kindy-garden class would suck on honeydews
But me, I’d howl at the daytime moon.

No Peas at all!
They got peas
All up their wazoos
and I’m pretty sure they got some
In Timbuktu too.
From Manchester to New York
peas are on every fork
but mine
Yeah, I hear them whine
What’s a woman with no peas
like a car with no keys
a drunk that doesn’t dry heave
honeycomb but no bumbledy bees
a ticket with a zero dollar fee
It’s unheard of you see
(no fee sounds great to me but don’t tell them I said that.)

No Peas at all!
I’ve got none
So I think I’ll go run
This place can’t take a gal with no peas
If they find me I’ll never be free
That’s it I’m leaving
See you in the funnies
cause I’m going away
to where the corn cobbs sway
and butter glistens like sun on seas.
So suck you and your big to-do about me
And my no peas
and please
give my regards to Mama