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Denial
Please, don’t make me say it,
don't make me write it down,
don’t make me admit it’s true
and speak the words aloud.
I’ve gotten so good at silence
and ignoring my own words
on love, on loss, on everything
that has ever had some worth.
I’ve mastered living in the now
and burying the past;
but as we know, I’ve crumbled down—
I knew it’d never last.
If everything were as I hoped,
I wouldn’t miss your voice.
I wouldn’t think of you
without my conscious choice.
You wouldn’t be the one
who still marks all that I want.
I wouldn’t feel so distant
from the one I’ve got.
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