Tocsin

I lay back on green stretches of lawn
My mind plays tricks on me.
A prickling on my neck,
A tocsin of the quags to come.
I don’t know what to say,
What to feel anymore.
Hello there how are you?
I miss you and I don’t know what to say.

There’s a girl in the park and a guy with his dog.
They all remind me of you and I don’t know why.
A prickling on my neck,
a tocsin of the quags to come.
The girl throws a Frisbee and the dog catches it.
I miss things, like we and us and together stuff,
I miss the sandwiches your mother fixed,
And how alike we were.

It’s the middle of the afternoon.
I have this feeling in my gut,
A prickling on my neck,
a tocsin of the quags to come.
It just isn’t fair, like a fly trapped in a jar,
I’m under the microscope,
That girl has started to stare, and I’m mad and upset
And really I just don’t know why yet.

I nod my head, and bade her good day,
I just don’t see how I’ll get through this.
A prickling on my neck,
A tocsin of the quags to come.
Soon the sun will disappear,
The shadows under the tree bows will lengthen.
In my head, thoughts jet around,
I remember better times.

Your arm in a splint,
Dropping the oar in the lake,
A prickling on my neck,
a tocsin of the quags to come.
How much you loved going to the zoo
Looking at all the animals, but especially the ox.
I think I hear your voice but my hopes are dashed,
I used to sing to you a lot.
You liked to play with toys,
And to smile and to dance,
A prickling on my neck,
A tocsin of the quags to come.
I remember how religious you were
How you talked about sin
And felt compelled to complete the rites.
That special pin you always wore.

I feel a chill and consider leaving,
I see the couple go and I wonder if they are wed,
A prickling on my neck,
A tocsin of the quags to come.
A bee flies by and settles on some food at a picnic,
The mat is checkered, with red and white,
I remember that red was your favorite color,
And I am sad.

We used to live near a dam,
You were fascinated by its power
A prickling on my neck,
A tocsin of the quags to come.
Once you turned to me and asked what thunder was.
You were so smart, and I was excited to teach you something.
I loved you
I miss you.