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The Pursuit of Unhappiness
Between school, drama, and now boyfriend problems, it’s been stressful. Now I’ve got to go home and deal with all of my responsibilities and issues waiting for me there. Fast forward, I’m sitting in my room, everything going through my mind at once -- I catch a glance of a picture of my dad and realize he’s no longer around to help me; I break. I start crying, thinking of how overwhelmed I feel and how terrible everything is. By this point, I just keep asking myself the same questions over and over again. Why can’t I just be happy? What am I doing so wrong? Then out of nowhere I start laughing, I mean hysterial laughter. The only person that can do anything about it is me. If i want to be happy it’s up to me. After a while I began to realize that stuff may really suck sometimes, but to be honest this is the happiest I’ve ever been. Regardless of whatever is going on around me only I can truly make myself happy. It does seem a lot more difficult than it really is though. Ultimately, I’ve been so focused on making myself happy that I’ve forgotten the only way I can be, is to see outside of myself and realize that really, there is no such thing as pure, unadulterated bliss.
In the article, In Pursuit of Unhappiness, college professor Darrin M. McMahon claims that in order to pursuit your own happiness you must be able to see outside of yourself and to make an effort to make others happy as well as yourself. In terms of long lasting happiness, I completely agree. In life we’re told that in order to be happy we must do everything in our power to do so, and though that is true, where do you draw the line? How do we know when enough is enough? We don’t. We try so hard to get to a point where life is perfect, without any negativity or anything able to hurt us. In the end, that cannot be acheived. There is no life where you don’t experience heartache or trauma, but that’s okay. We wouldn’t be able to appreciate our lives without any of the bad times and we would never know if we were actually happy. Going through hardships, having the ability to grow from them, and realizing that sometimes it’s necessary to just accept that there may not be a so-called “perfect” life, will ensure any possibility of being happy.
I may have started off with kind of a closing statement, but really that’s where it all starts, making an effort. Now that we’ve gotten the hard part out of the way, let’s think about what makes a person happy. Some may say a sport, family, hanging out with friends, or money. Scientist have determined that one of the biggest contributers to a person’s happiness is how much gratitude you show. A YouTube channel by the name of Soulpancake conducted an experiment where people were asked to write a letter to someone they were thankful for and afterwards told to call that person and read the letter to them. Before hand they were tested on their current level of happiness and by the time they were done on the phone, their happiness levels increased from 4% to 19%. The person who experienced the most change in happiness, was the least happiest person who came in. Demonstrating that if you’re having a rough time, showing gratitude or making an effort to show someone you care will more likely have a greater impact on you.
[“Those only are happy who have their minds fixed on some object other than their own happiness; on the happiness of others, on the improvement of mankind, even on some art or pursuit, followed not as it means, but as itself an ideal end. Aiming thus at something else, they find happiness by the way”] - John Stuart Mill, (McMahon 2). It took me a while to decode that quote if I’m being honest. Probably longer than it should have. Though when I finally did understand what it all meantone thing stuck out to me, the people that are happy are not focused on their own happiness. The money, success, and the cars may be nice for a while, but what’s a life without people to share it with? In the document Happy, the happiest people were the ones with people close to them. A supporting family or circle of friends, maybe even just one friend. Some people may feel like they don’t have that, maybe you don’t. That’s when I say do all that you can to be successful, but there comes a certain point where that isn’t enough. Human beings are sensitive creatures. Though some more than others, things get hard and we need someone to lean on when times get tough and to celebrate good times with. Basically, we focus so much on the material things and our own happiness that we forget to appreciate all that we have. Giving vs receiving has a lasting happiness that can only be accomplished by you. When making someone else happy, or helping someone other than yourself is a feeling of not only pure joy, but rewarding as well.
Some could argue that doing something for yourself from time to time can actually make you happy, and they would be right. Despite the fact that you should treat yourself, the effect isn’t as everlasting as you may think. In the documentary I mentioned earlier, studies showed that the pleasure you aquire doing something for someone else is significantly more than it would be to say… buy a car. Concusively, we must be able to make an effort for others as well as ourselves in order to really be happy.
In the end, we all just want to be happy. Whether that’s doing something you love with someone you love, enjoying peacefullness, playing with your dog or everything in bewteen, we need to be able to sit back and look at life. All of it, yours, mine, your family’s, just life as a whole and think about how much better it could be if you just tried to enjoy a little company and give back to those you care about. Who knows, maybe by the time you feel happier you’ll have made the world just a bit happier as well.
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This article has 1 comment.
The American dream hs always been to be happy though I've never been able to understand the concept of what happiness is until I experienced heartbreak. Which does sound weird, but really I think it's about time that we realize happiness can only be achieved when we can appreciate what we do have and spread the positivity.