We are all born with expectations, some of us are expected to behave in a certain way, achieve success in a certain field, or talk in a certain way. Mixed with stereotypes, it can be pretty daunting to be a version of yourself that doesn’t speak for who you are in order to fit into society’s norms. Sometimes these “norms” are due to our appearance, rather than our unique characters and stories.  I speak from my own experience, because coming here to the United States from my home country of Kazakhstan, growing up here came with its own baggage load of prejudices.

In a room, even before I opened my mouth, my appearance instantly gave away clues about my upbringing and morals. Spending most of my elementary and middle school years in New England, meant there wasn’t much Asians around.  I was often the only representative of my race in a classroom. I always felt like a type of ambassador, representing my people. Being a minority student in the predominantly white northeast also meant answering questions from my clueless friends. I am from Kazakhstan, makes it even more confusing to explain, because I speak Russian, yet I do look Chinese (and yet the Chinese culture is pretty much as foreign to me as it is to them). The questions from my friends were all out of curiosity, because to them,  I was foreign and “exotic”. And it was totally fine, I felt different, but in a good way. It was the questions like, “Do you eat dogs?” and “Are you Yao Ming/Jackie Chan/ Bruce Lee’s daughter?” When I got to New Hampshire, questions like that got to me, I wondered why some people are so uneducated and clueless.

 I seemed to stick out, even if I didn’t want to. Even though earlier on, this separation from the crowd often upset me, as I grew up  I began to understand that that is just the way I was born and I have this amazing opportunity of having been immersed in a culture completely different than my own. It is almost as if I live double lives, at school, I speak English, listen to their culture, play their sports, and sing their songs, and at home it’s like a piece of the motherland. I feel strangely at home in both American culture, and my own - yet alienated. I learned that even though I am Asian, that doesn’t mean I couldn’t be however I wanted and do whatever I wish. In the past, the word “Asian” was almost an insult to me. “Asian” meant that student who is bashed by their relatives to attain some unattainable heights. And it wouldn’t be wrong to say that others probably think that too when the word “Asian” is said. Due to the media, Asians are often portrayed in undesirable ways in many movies and shows, giving way to the many stereotypes that come with this race. Before platforms like Instagram, were big, there weren’t many Asian public figures that rebelled against these generic bounds. There was no one in the media, who looked like me, that spoke up and showed the public that Asians don’t have to be this soft-spoken, introverted group, afraid to leave their mark in the media.

We, as humans have a tendency to “group” or “categorize” everything. Whether it be objects, plants, colors, shapes, or humans. Basically anything around us. From our first days on earth, we are taught concepts like, “opposites” (white/black, male/female, hot/cold). In a way, it makes the world such a simpler thing to understand. Everything fits into a box and everyone has a certain role. However, the same concept that made everything seem simple, also made everything around us black and white. You either fit into a box prepared for you by society, or you become an outcast. This concept of “boxes” has began to apply into every concept of of our lives.

I began to realize, that as for many other ethnic groups, my appearance does not form who I am as a person. I didn’t have to  listen to a specific genre of music, look a certain way or be fascinated by a particular subject. Through the years of living here, and standing up for myself I learned that, just like for everyone else, people may have some predisposed prejudices about me, and that it was completely up to me to show everyone that I could break the mold. I wasn’t purposely going out there to try and destroy everyone’s perception of Asians, but I didn’t let the stereotype of Asians only focusing on academics stop me from trying out for the volleyball and soccer team (even though I was the only Asian on the team). I didn’t let the fact that people expected Asian girls to be introverted and quiet from saying what I believe in. I am not the greatest student when it comes to math, and will never be the greatest at music because that is not at all what I am passionate about. We are all people, born with our unique traits and idiosyncrasies, and stereotypes should not define us. What may be true to the vast majority may not at all be true to you.  I grew up as a minority student in the United States, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Ancient stereotypes seem to define what role we have to play in social settings, school, and society in general, based on our ethnicity, however it is your life and your ethnicity does not define who you are and can be. For generations, black people have been looked down upon, yet great individuals like President Barack Obama and Oprah Winfrey along with many others show us that your ethnicity does not define you.  It is such an amazing opportunity to be exposed to different cultures growing up and although it is hard at times, to be different, and sometimes be picked on for what some may think is my culture, it’s these experiences that shaped me and many others in similar place as I am into who I am as a person and strengthened me in character and spirit. I am proud to be Asian and hope that other Asians, minority students and young immigrants in general, can learn from their experiences: being “the odd ones out”,  growing up in a different culture, adapting to a new way of life and having this experience spark the desire to be greater. Being different can be seen as an adversity or an advantage. However way you view it, at the end of the day, you will remain you: your skin, hair, eyes, or any other physical trait does not define you. What does, is the person you are, and the person you strive to be.