It was a quiet Saturday afternoon. I have been preparing for a sweet 16 I plan on attending tonight. As I grab my bag to start packing I hear my father come in the front door and walk toward my room. He tells me my aunt just passed away during a surgery she was having. I am so beyond shocked I stand there, numb. I feel the tears start to build in my eyes. He looks at me and says I am so sorry sweetheart; your mom will be home in a few minutes. I sit down, taking all this in, and pull myself together. I want to be strong for my mother, she opens the door and I wrap my arms around her. We stand there crying together. It was just a routine operation; it had been done hundreds of times on hundreds of people. Why did my aunt have to be the one to suffer?
I start unpacking for the party and repacking for the funeral. We decide as a family to leave first thing in the morning, and go to my grandparents’ house. We arrive in Brookhaven, Mississippi after an extremely long 13 hour drive. Food is covering the counters from neighbors, flowers from friends and family. I put my bags in my room and prepare myself for the long three days ahead of us. In the morning my grandmother awakes me and lets me know we are leaving in a few hours for the wake. My sisters, mom, dad, and I have not seen my aunt’s body so we are encouraged to go early with my aunt’s husband, Robert. We walk in the room and I see her lying in a casket. Emotions hit me like a brick wall. Tears start rolling down my face as I cling to my uncle. I stand by my aunt’s dead body in disbelief. She was only 56 when a blood clot shot to her heart killing her almost instantly. Her daughter, Kelly, has a 2 year old little boy named Zachary, and a new little boy named Grayson on the way. Her son, Ian, is married and will be expecting children soon. My mom never got to say goodbye to her big sister, and my grandparents never expected to be burying one of their daughters. She was the best aunt I could have ever asked for. All the memories we have start rushing to my mind causing me to weep more and more. I force myself to leave the room and pull myself together, people will be arriving soon.
I stand next to the casket holding my mom’s hand as thousands of people say those words I have heard over and over again for the past two days, “I am so sorry”. The funeral home director said it was the biggest service ever held in the small southern town. Thousands of people went to pay their respects. She was such a loved woman.
It was the longest 6 hours of my entire life, having people say the same dreaded words making my numb mind not so numb anymore. Little did I know that the next day at the funeral would be so much worse.
I wake up to get ready to watch my aunt be put in the ground, and have those dreaded words being said to me again. It was the most terrible feeling in the entire world.
Even though I would do anything to have my beloved aunt back it has made my family so much closer and stronger. Janet passed away on May 27th of 2010. It has become a lot easier since then, but not a day goes by that my family and I don’t think about her.